POETRY II


Carmen’s daughter never knew when to stop

for she would go to market all day to shop

placing an acorn squash near the ear

not minding she couldn’t/ wouldn’t  hear

a bunch of grapes dangling at the lobes

placing red red cherries for her lips

romaine lettuce and roses for her hips

ahh tis said she was mad such a pity

with all her shopping  produce a’plenty

was said time and ag’in sure we are she will never be

like her mother Carmen Miranda the legendary beauty


~~~~
A  5X7 PICTURE FRAME SITS ON THE DESK 

TO REMIND OF TIME PAST

ELEVEN PEOPLE GATHERED 

 ONE DYING , MORE THAN TWENTY

COULD NOT  ATTEND

 TELL A LIE TO THE ONE WHEN SHE ASKS,

 YES MA’ THEY ARE HERE OR SOON

KNOWING SHE WILL ASK AGAIN

WON’T REMEMBER AND WILL ASK AGAIN

NOW ALL THAT IS LEFT.. THAT OLD 5 X 7

OF ELEVEN, ONLY NINE REMAIN

MEMORY LINGERS OF THAT DAY

WHEN THEY CARRIED MOMMA’S SHELL AWAY

SO FRAGILE AND FRAIL IN MIND AND BODY

BARELY A BUMP ON THE UNDERTAKERS CART

LINED UP LIKE SOLDIERS , WE WATCHED AS

THEY WHEELED HER AWAY , KNOWING WE

WOULD NEVER FORGET THIS DAY.

A 5 X 7 PICTURE FRAME SITS ON THE DESK

TO REMIND OF TIME PAST

PULSATING
take my hand and lead me
to the room above
pretend I am your true love
send my throbbing pulses
skyward
kiss me as my blood rushes
in heated anticipation
send me skyward like fireworks
on new years eve
then tiptoe while I sleep
and take your leave
WORKING MOM
oh how she misses her son
their bond is strong
hopes she’s not wrong
with all she’s doneFamily is so important
she must help them
but at what cost
for the time is lostWorking to not lose their home
but is she losing her son?
these years can not be made up
she knows her Momma did the sameShe is a good Momma, good worker
pulled so many ways so tired
she can’t think
She needs nature, water, trees
and a stiff drink.


~~~~
I want to dance
I miss dancing
the beat of the music
makes my feet itch
I loved to swing-dance
line dance too, oldies a few
the jitterbug, the stroll
nothing like dancing to old time
rock n roll.
70’s we had the bump, hustle
James Brown  slide and funky monkey too
oh how I miss the dance
many wanted the romance
me I just wanted the chance to hustle
my boog-a-loo
~~~~~
Tired of putting up the front
Pretending all is well, when
the impression,
the depression
significant in understanding
the evil treading within
echoes in my head
recognized by others
while I believed pure of heart
I’ve taken life
murdered one by right of choice
murdered  two for mercy
was that the wickedness seen by others
I do not know
Trauma has followed me all my life
HEART BREAK
Hearts of flesh, hearts of stone

Hearts given quickly end up alone
Hearts full of love and caring
Hearts flirty and daring
Hearts all a flutter
Hearts can melt like butter

Hearts CAN break
Hearts WILL break


MUSE

I have loved and been loved
I have hated and been hated
I have given and been taken
I have drugged myself to sleep
I have woken with a scream
I have gotten drunk to weep

I can not play music
I can not sing
I can not dance

But I can love, I can hate
I can take, I can give
I can share, I can use

I can not write poetry
for I have lost my muse.
HELL ON EARTH
PAIN WORRY WORK
FELT THIS WAY 
ENTIRE LIFE OR AS
LONG AS MEMORY
SERVES.
HELL ON EARTH 
LIVED
MOLESTATION
RAPE
OUT OF WEDLOCK
CHILDREN
VERBAL AND 
PHYSICAL 
BEAT DOWNS 
MAN AFTER MAN
JOB AFTER JOB
SLIM EXISTENCE
HELL ON EARTH
LIVED
DRUGS, PROSTITUTION
GETTING STRAIGHT AND CLEAN
HELL ON EARTH LIVED


NOW ON HER DEATH BED
THEY ALL GATHER LIKE
THE VULTURES THEY TURNED 
OUT TO BE. 
HELL ON EARTH WILL BE THEIR
LIVES WHEN THEY SEE 
SHE GAVE IT ALL TO CHARITY!
MUDDY WATERS
Muddy swirling waters

under the Baytown Bridge

Visited by those on the edge

Offering the last deep sleep

Let go of the steel cable

If you think your really able

to take the final step into

oblivion offered by the Baytown Bridge.

WHERE WERE YOU?
Propped against the vase on the table
a lilac colored envelope
Handwritten single page

Where were you when you broke my heart?
Did you hear it shatter like a crystal flute
Did you see the black cloud from the sky
drop over the shards?

Clothes gone from the closet
brush gone from vanity
perfume given for anniversary
solitary bottle now in pieces
along with the mirror

Where were you when you broke my heart?
Did you hear it scream in agony?
Hear my tears fall like the rain?

Where were you when you broke my heart?
BROKEN
leaves of the willow rustled against the window
the sound of the mocking bird whining as the dog
sunlight sparkles through the window
reflecting mirror on the dresser
as she gazes at herself..the wrinkles about
her eyes and lips showing her age
the constant bruises of long ago
she still sees each time she leans closer
in her mind’s eye she sees the briefcase thrown
and the mirror shattered into tiny sparkling
tear drops to match those upon her cheeks
Shattered mirror, shattered heart, spirit and soul

Shattered earth by her shovel ..best rug used
no more shattered mirrors, cheekbones or elbows
as she hears the willow whispering its secret
rustling against the window

A NEW DAY
He knew it would rain most of the day
As if  thin strings of water spirits made
Lowering a bucket down to wash
Earth clean of multiple sins
Dawn blushes as awakened by Sun
Day break whispers in gentle voice
Awake, awake a new day is born
He rolled over to the side of his bed
Reaching for his early morning
leftover wine.
UGLY HEART
The pain and ugliness of your heart
The words you use to beat down
The jealousy you display and verbalize
Hurts my heart, my soul, my life, my loves
It scares me for the future
What can I do to stop this
What can I do to change this
Can you feel me, feel my words
I ask God to heal all of us
so that we may love one another
In His spirit, His love, His Grace
DANCE
Composing the music
performing feels like fire
beat to the hiss of hell snake
sax wailing a mournful wake

drums pounding to heartbeat
guitar strums then accelerates
fingers flashing across the chords
sparks flying as strings break

Feet moving skirt swirling
laughter, maniac bright eyes
she lives for this race  only this
dancing her greatest wish


BETWEEN HER THIGHS
HE OPENS HIS MOUTH TO SPEW FORTH LIES

HE BERATES WITH NO CARE FOR THE CRIES
THE BROKEN SKIN, THE BLACKENED EYES
  WANTS HER MONEY AND BETWEEN HER THIGHS
 
HE YELLS, SHE SCREAMS, CHILDREN HAVE BAD DREAMS
HE HITS, HE KICKS, HE BREAKS A BONE
WHO CARES SHE’S LIKE A DRONE
WANTS HER MONEY AND BETWEEN HER THIGHS.
 
 
 
SHE  LIES  IN BED TOO  BRUISED AND BATTERED TO MOVE
CHILDREN  HIDE IN THEIR ROOM WITH  BOX OF DRY CEREAL
KEEP QUIET  DRAW NO ATTENTION, AVOID  FLOOR WHERE IT SQUEAKS
SNEAK INTO MOMMAS ROOM ONCE IN A WHILE TO PEEK
SHE CAN BARELY LIFT A HAND TO STROKE THEIR CHEEK
WANTS HER MONEY AND BETWEEN HER THIGHS
 
SHE LIES THERE ON THEIR MARITAL BED OF ALL THESE YEARS
THE ONE SHE HAS MADE DAILY THROUGH ALL THE TEARS
MAKING HER PLANS  FROM THIS BED HE WON’T RISE
WANTS HER MONEY AND BETWEEN HER THIGHS
 
HE SCREAMS FOR HIS MEAL TO BE SERVED
OH YES SHE THINKS ..THIS YOU DESERVE
HE SEEMS SURPRISED SHE HANDS HIM A BEER
PATS HER ASS SAYS WHAT A DEAR
WANTS HER MONEY AND BETWEEN HER THIGHS
 
SHE ENCOURAGES HIM TO EAT AND DRINK
AS SHE JOINS HIM , NERVES ON THE BRINK
GIVES HIM A LITTLE PAT AND A WINK
AFTER THE MEAL  NODS TOWARD THE BEDROOM
SHE HAS TO GET PAST HIS STINK
WANTS HER MONEY AND BETWEEN HER THIGHS
 
CORONER PRONOUNCES THERE ON THE MARITAL BED OF ALL THESE YEARS
WHILE SHE CRIES AND CRIES,  RELIEF NOT GRIEF BEHIND THE TEARS
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS MA’AM LOOKS LIKE OVERDOSE WITH PILLS AND ALCOHOL. 
HE DIED HAPPY WITH HER MONEY  AND BETWEEN HER THIGHS.


BLACK WORLD
A gray world most times black

burnt so many times 
they must think I’m a chimney stack
No more no more I cry but 
they see not a tear, they smile at
thy stricken face white as  a 
piece of lace.
told my place shown my face
paid by the cut of their tongue
pierced heart pierced lung
their so called love I have flung
I can not take it back
~~~~~~
i too wallow in the self-pity pool

i thought that was the rule
when life keeps kicking you down
you get back up , you try and try
to get it right ..again, then you cry
what’s the use. those you love are 
going to do it they are saying
your trippin, your crazy
so many times and feeling alone, 
beaten, kicked like a dog.
Words you speak they tweak
to fit their idea of what you said
so pity yes for myself yes
I’ll stay that way until I’m dead.
WILTED
The windows  closed, drapery faded with dust and drawn to the  sights and sounds of the world
No sound of wind blowing in, no sound of playing music out, no laughter heard just quiet sobbing.
Where once fine china and crystal sat upon the table, now a chipped and cracked bowl,
filled with watery grains of sweetened rice and near clabbered milk, set for one
A centerpiece of once bright yellow sunflowers  faded, wilted,
water  gone rancid as they droop.
Another day  of grieving for loves lost, missing loves, of solitude
A time when others were around yet unable to see the heart
the wish to be loved, needed and involved.
Forgotten and left to ones own echo of time and life long ago.
Climbing into the marital bed late at night listening to the sounds
of sleep from the one that no longer remembers who you are
calling another’s name
Grown children so afraid of their own loneliness they can’t see the wilted
sunflower at the family table, nor the wilted heart inside
A heart withering like the flowers.
LONELY HOUSES
Driving down the street today
I notice all the lonely houses
No curtains in the windows
that empty dark eye, barred or boarded
thick green ivy creeping up the sides
embracing lonely houses.
Lonely houses with many a story
so silent now with only the mice
and insects dwelling making their stories
Where life once pulsed within the walls
of family gathered at breakfast
planning the day
Coming home after a journey knowing this
was home, heart and hearth.
Yards of kept grass and gardens
now overrun with tall grasses and weedy flowers
Now lonely houses with tilting roofs and decks
unpainted, worn, tired
the empty lonely houses
OPENING A SOUL
With a shaking, gnarled and wrinkled hand
the old man wiped drool from the corners of his mouth
then on his faded thread bare khaki pants
raising his mouth harp to his now dry lips
he begins to gently blow into the piece
the deep bluesy notes echoing through
newly darkened cloud filled sky
Tears begin to roll down his leathery cheeks
as he pushes forward the rusting tin can
with his toeless work boot hoping
his music would open a soul
RELEASE
Standing at her kitchen sink
as she washes pots in soapy hot water
on her life she begins to think
so many years gone by,
those with laughter, some make her cry
Her life filled with love, laughter, pain and grief
She prays for family and  her life’s release
DRIFTING CLOUDS
so many clouds drifting by
like the man by my side
wanting someone else he says
what more can I do I plead ?
as I watched his love drifting away
each day he leaves a little earlier
each night he comes home later
then not at all.

so many clouds drifting by
like the children by my side
growing up, leaving home
what more can I do I plead?
each one leaves a little earlier
each night I shed my tears
as I watch the clouds drift by
EMERGENCE
The chrysalis of the butterfly opens slowly in time
Dried by the suns warmth and then…
Gossamer wings of light, flitter until fall of night|
Where nightmares and terrors unfold
making ones blood run cold
On wings of the butterfly my dreams take flight
SUMMER
The scurry of little feet across the forest floor
announcing the arrival of the clan
Ribbons of woven flowers entwining  with gossamer wings
The sound of crickets songs and flapping of June bugs abound

Lights flickering among the trees falling to the ground
like a rain of fire pebbles
Soon the sound of butterfly wings and the magical sound
of a brass flute
Let the celebration begin for today is the first
day of summer
The gathering of the woodland creatures, gnomes and fairies
shall bring in the new season with sun and merriment.

Happy Summer Everyone ! June 21, 2013

BEAUTY

Looking at the beauty in her environment giving appreciative thanks to the maker
She wonders why the beauty surrounding her cannot be acquired by osmosis
into her soul…she feels ugly inside.

Where once a gentle spirit dwelt now pain, misery and sorrow reside
The ugly is not in her heart but in her mind where she cannot stop
the swirling blackness that engulfs every atom of her being.

~~~~
SPRING WEATHER
High winds, slashing rain
trees bent in a bow to nature
tornado warnings abound

******************

Heavy sulphuric air
fear prevails as whistles blow
a preview to Hells Fury

*******************

Heat of day,  then cold winds rush
forming ice in Spring, as rain pours
Dancing flower pots and hanging baskets
sirens racing up and down the streets
Hear the beat like a mad drummer cymbals crashing
Hail from Hell!

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QUIET HUNT
With  moon on their wings, dark Bats fly this night
Owl sits on a branch as it hunts and calls out Whoo
Its mate soars over scanning the loamy floor
Air is breaking crisp, a heavy frost to lie this night
Peaceful with  quiet, moon shines yellow bright
Rustle of  breeze through forest leaves
quietly sounds
Caught between teeth or talon a small squeak is heard
Then gentle steps on pine needles heard as lairs entered
with a gentle sigh, a full belly tonight.

A night in this deep dark forest breathes life in the air,
The red fox yapping comes out of its comfortable lair
Shattering the quiet in its quest to quench hunger and thirst
the nightingale begins a song of beauty, then stops
The quiet resumes in the silence of the forest hunt
~~~~~
Staring at the wall across from me

It is midnight and my eyes burn

No sleep, no inspiration

I sit and watch the cars go
up and down the road

I have done all I can do

I believe this to be true
so why do I dwell on the past

It is now beyond my grasp

I can only watch as the memories flood

BATTLES
I am but a mere spectator now in my life

I have apologized and forgiven, so I believed
Now I wonder how much longer must I be

the villain in my life’s mystery?
Questions I alone cannot answer,
battles fought and wars won

but who has really won in the end?
None that I can see; only losses

I can only pray that Gods plan and purpose
will be revealed and healing by others begin.

TODAY
Today I wanted to live life to its fullest
Yesterday I wished life were done
most days are good and I am fine
some days I have problems
some I am in pain and weak
others I am strong
Most days I seek truth and believe I understand
then there are the days I am full of unbelief and lost
those are the days I wish all would just “poof”
Disappear in smoke take my hope, take my misery
One day I feel everything will be fine
all will be alright and I feel closer
to my loved ones and my Lord
these are the days my life is meant for
these are the days I know God is carrying me.
“Hope begins in the dark; the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come.”  ~~Anne LaMotte

~~~~~
The grey sky looming above,

Large flakes of snow coming down

From the pregnant clouds above,

I watch as my world turns white

Wondering should I go out

As I watch the huge flakes build up

Into mounds and piles as the wind
drifts the snow into mini-mountains

As the flakes hit the ground,

Shattered realizations lay scattered

Reminding me no two are the same
and neither are we

Another memory from my childhood
In the Rockies of Colorado emerges

I cling to the lifeline that attaches me to the past

For it has made me who I am, a strong force

A survivor, a good heart, a lover of life

The snow does nothing to stop my journey

Never forgetting, who I am

I walk these streets of mental paths

Knowing that I am alone in my madness
that watching the ground turn white
and wishing I could be that pure again

Only reminds me I am simply mad and incomplete
~~~~~
It is spring the calendar states

Oh I just can’t wait

To find fruits at the market

And flowers in my vase

I want to feel the warm sun

Hear the red breasted robin sing

Smell the strong scent of  flowers

See the butterflies, hummingbirds flying

Its spring the calendar states

I’m so happy, happy

For the flowers will bloom

And the grass shall green

The green of the fields have shone

The magic of the meadow flowers

the sky brings forth sparkling dawn

With fresh rain and the arc of a rainbow

Image

Its spring the calendar states

How can I be so depressed and blue?

For it is spring the calendar states

And only the snow, says “Not true,

For I am still here with you”

**~~~***
depression …a cloud over this peace of earth
lonely in the parcel where color is stark
gray clouds make this room dark
wait here torn to pieces, apart, shattered
heart enclosed like a tomb
try to smile –hurts masking the darkness
not a trace of peace, happiness or light
dark winds have blown evilness in the midst

Gliding through the dark purple clouds

This peace of earth wherever roamed—silent
with no words to speak only scream
it’s just me…

**JUST FICTION**

STRENGTH
I am strong enough to walk with you

Impetuousness enough to leave

Soft enough to cry at the hurt I inflicted
Forgiving and forgiven of slights injected

I am weak enough to take you back in
going once more down the road of sin

Taking you every-day into my heart
Promises made until broken apart
GRANDPA’S JUNK
Ten miles down that dusty ol’ road stood an old tin shack
Walked that lane plenty times and back

Plastic Bass fish hung on a twisted limb as the mail box

Chickens and geese of every demented type to keep track
Cars , pick- ups and other ol’ junk, rusty old frozen locks
One eyed dog vicious and mean didn’t bark only scream
Tires and metal stacked in a poor man’s opulence,

Mismatched chairs and rockers set on the porch
jars of whiskey and rye always close by

Buckets with its oil-filled rags cigarette butts and tools
fish and hunting, chasing women stories too, told from drinking fools
Smell of the oil heavy in this graveyard of scrap

The dark trannies and engines kept under wrap

I would work on Saturdays for a little coin

Glad to be asked to ready to join
bumpers and steering wheels and pipes
hood ornaments, radios and water pumps

Of rusted barbed wire that stuck through the gloves.

He taught me about life and how to give
“By god “he’d say “this ain’t no way to live”

As he hauled up that trash, oh he’d find some damn thing

A broken bell an old toy or a broken bed spring

“Something to learn here boy”
he’d say “getta out here and make your own way”
Covered in dirt grease sweat and dust
Climb in that empty truck with a rush
Day is done sun goin down but oh the smells going to town
Buy me a hamburger and lay out my pay
tell me “see you on Saturday, tomorrow you pray”
Loved my old grandpa not because he was rich

Because he was a mean sum bitch!


****
marked the lonely river…silence

  still…without a ripple or wave

 deep mountain peak ever –

darkening  water by its shadow

 not a sound nor whisper heard

 nor soft music made by waves

beneath, the calm surface never stirred

deep marked the thickening forest

 where moonbeams shine  the night

 the Owl perches in the drooping willow

crying out in the misty moon light–

 those depths so still, so silent

 hold not the notes of a tender song

 heart filled joy and love of music,

heart filled joy and love of music,

deep within the fountains  flow note by note

 passionate and tender to human tone 

though you dream not of the silent depths

 you never stopped to hear the music  

 

 

 

 
***
I have spoken many words

Words that cut as sharpened swords
some soft as whisper- words of love.
I have traveled many miles
Worn holes in leather cowboy boots
Walked along those miles with many smiles

I have cried many salty tears
Heartbroken and grief stricken
Over death of loved ones
Of an animal or someone’s child

Over my many, many years
I have laughed in utter joy
Feeling the warmth of a child’s hand
Handing me a favorite play toy
Or a joke at my expense again

I have watched a mountain avalanche
Snow falling in rushes as the waterfalls
Of majestic cliffs and islands glistening

I have laughed at the oceans tide
Chase waves onto burning sand
Crabs and Seals scurrying to the side

Fished in a favorite hole on a farm
From a piece of driftwood I sat
Poison Ivy clinging to me giving harm

Felt the warmth in rays of the sun
Slept in a meadows sweet grass
Watching rabbits and mice run
Through my looking glass

Laid in the bed of a pick- up truck
Wrapped in grams quilt of old
Protecting me from the frosts cold

Been warmed by a bonfire of gathered wood
Drinking a cold one from a cooler
Danced in the rivers dirt made bank
In the smokey black night dark and dank

I have sang at concerts -me so off key
Yet others stood right beside me
Singing and dancing in glee
I have been blessed by many loves
Man and child , greatest of these
My beautiful daughters all three
Grandsons are  too my legacy

Now in these winter years of my life
I can say without troubling strife
I have lived a wonderful life
I have lived , I have lived!

Now in these winter years of my life
I can say without troubling strife
I have lived a wonderful life
****

The Rose a blushing scented flower
Represents love when beautiful red in color
or does it… mayhap resonate the evil hour?
Tis not always been a neighbor sweet
For upon the stalky stems… thorns we meet
A Meadowlark  shall land, perch and sing
Its song of beauty heralding Spring
Till upon its wings it shall suddenly feel
Piercing, tearing upon its chest
The evilness of a thorn rent still

Fluttering about with graceful wings
in the garden of beautiful things
whiling away its many hours
Sipping at the beautiful flowers

Gently flying from each place
Spreading wings of finest lace
a flower crown it will rest
While Robins watch from the nest
from each flower the butterfly takes flight
to kiss each Orchid in pure delight

Soaring high this wondrous butterfly
on gossamer wings its rounds to make
Sipping nectar from each flower it takes

Soon the sun begins its slow descent
as the moon starts to climb

The butterfly answers the silent call
flying away over the garden wall.

SNOW
Slowly, bit by bit the silent snow does fall
It settles down on the earth covering all
Flake by individual flake white and weightless
it falls as it wants… proudly with all its greatness

The silent snow comes down while frost attack
Not one thing on the ground can escape the facts
Wherever it falls it stays, content to go its way
For snow does not slip off easily… it longs to stay

The flakes are heavens reigning flowers
Petals released by the bulging clouds
Flakes come in no other color sans white
Blossoming in their crystalline light
piling delicately upon one another
Hugging tight as a  sister and brother

From valleys far, deep and  wide
To mountaintops, treetops and sides
Snow silently comes to rest
Giving all its very best
Alas, soon they reach their peak
begin to die inside– the precious flakes.

A PEACE OF HOMELESS

Her broken soul finds a home on the streets of old
recovering from broken dreams and lost loves told
In silence she walks, pushing her three wheeled cart
No longer looking to mend her broken heart
the silence she embraces as an old friend
she thinks peaceful thoughts wishing for the end
She is lost with no destination in her addled mind
The sun and wind will numb her pale skin again and again

Her teeth fall out and sores don’t heal
but that is okay she knows not the real
She walks the path each day trying to
remember the way of where and life of who

In the park she finds a half~ eaten sandwich
sitting on the bench she begins to munch
as the leaves fall in a sepia tone only she can touch

She keeps her silence close to her chest
As the winter of life touches her breast
Peace is what her lost soul knows
Pushing her three wheeled cart
among the many  cars row after row

Until she sleeps the sleep of the dead
She walks the path of life the paths of old.

DREAMS
The sound loud as thunder
a breathtaking majestic wonder
roaring power yet so serene
cascading over rock it careens
glowing white reflecting starlight
what a beauty to behold in my sight
Gleaming, crystal water so pure and true
dropping from jagged rock in crystal hue
reflecting on stones of white  as snow
Falling to the sand and pebbles below
Majestic waterfall of my dreams

MUD PIE MEMORIES
Old bent spoons and forks
a chipped plate one or two
broken cups, glasses a few
rusty tin pans and galvanized lids

We sifted our dirt from under the tree
Just my four pretty dollies and me
preparing our pies so pretty and round
our chocolate made from the ground

Mulberries from that old tree
graced our cups of make believe tea
sweet pea petals ‘iced’ our pies
beautiful in our biased eyes

Placed in the sun so carefully
not just to bake but for all to see
Oh how lovely they would exclaim
one day your mud pies will bring you fame!

RAVEN
Reflected in the eye of the avian lord

A raven flock of blackest sheen
keeping watch for carrion keen

Moonlight shadow at its best

Thoughts of death come to rest
upon this funeral pyre they watch
perched above the oak tree notch

Char of rabbit or mouse they feed
once flame and smoke have done the deed

EMPTY NESTER
With nervousness and courage
I took a deep breath to accept
when all I felt was lost, helplessness
four walls called now ‘empty nest’
Pacing halls and empty rooms
sweeping up with plastic broom
keeping all nice and tidy
Never changing from my nighty
Nighttime sounds brought great fear
sleep unfounded pills are near
Once taken sleep and dreams befell
How once I was the dancing belle
Contemplation gave a start
To memory risen within my heart
With winds of change upon my feet
My destiny I chanced to meet
Now I dance across the stage
My children shouting
“MOTHER ACT YOUR AGE”


JAN 2013
1~

Pretty eyes in great disguise
Hide the pain of lonely hearts

Sobs hidden by their smiles
Screams covered by laughter
Wiping  tears so none will see
The beat of their lonely heart.

2~

Sun rising above the earth
Tis morn giving birth, lighting the way
a breath taking moment, soon memory

3~
Tension-filled air, because you are here
Without a job, without a car, without a care
I see you struggling trying to ‘get it’ right
Some have no compassion for your plight

 

4~

  Like a child I wish to obey
Needing peace, stillness
Your anger and hatred
Has soured your heart
I refuse to let it sour mine.
5-
Ballet of the Dogs performing
in the yard of Oak trees. A Plie’
then a perfect Saute’e, many a 
tours en l’air by the Yorkie mix
while his Beagle sister pirouettes
as the gray squirrels perform their
own mocking dance.

6~
I woke to brand new day
Thank my God for blessing me
Not sure what lies ahead
Just know he will keep my stead.
7~
In dawns break the birds sing

The bull frogs croak
Squirrels chase tree to tree
Wind is howling, like coyote to the moon
All together in perfect harmony.
8~
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELVIS ARON PRESLEY!!
9~
Forty days until second anniversary of daughters death

690 days she has been gone, don’t want to think, only cry

10~ woke to soft patter of rain
snuggle deep into pillow
when I arose cloudy gray
we need the blessed rain
hope it stays all day
11~
hmmmmm warm comfortable bed

love of my life snoring away
whenI try to turn he reaches for
and in his sleep says “I Love You Baby”
can’t get a better way to start the day.

12~

I’ve never made a fortune
and it’s probably too late now
But I don’t worry about that much
I’m happy anyhow
And as I go along life’s journey
I’m reaping better than I sow
I’m drinking from my saucer
‘Cause my cup has overflowed

Haven’t got a lot of riches
and sometimes the going’s tough
But I’ve got loving ones around me
and that makes me rich enough
I thank God for His blessings
and the mercies He’s bestowed
I’m drinking from my saucer
‘Cause my cup has overflowed

O, Remember times when things
went wrong
My faith wore somewhat thin
But all at once the dark clouds broke
and sun peeped through again
So Lord, help me not to gripe
about the tough rows that I’ve hoed
I’m drinking from my saucer
“Cause my cup has overflowed

If God gives me strength and courage
When the way grows steep and rough
I’ll not ask for other blessings
I’m already blessed enough
And may I never be too busy
to help others bear their loads
Then I’ll keep drinking from my saucer
“Cause my cup has overflowed!”
Heard this recited by Jimmy Dean this morning and thought how blessed I am!!

13~

 Heart broken, shattered into pieces
stolen innocence as a child
no way to pick up pieces
none to show the way Walk the path dealt
heart pieces dropped
in the dirt and gravel
never to be found
walked on again and again Like humpty-dumpty
still broken still shattered
even the king can’t put
this heart back together again

Anonymous 
14~
Days are all alike, life as I knew it has gone
Sleep I must, but it eludes, day or not
Hearing the hour strike again and again
Sleep has left me and I don’t know what to do
Do this chore or that, leave it before tis done
Little use to try as I can see, just sleep I need
Sleep has gone and left me.
15~
Look at me and what do you see?
Do you see what I show you?
The one with a great big smile
Hiding inside is my despairI will comfort and give hugs and love
While shedding my tears of grief, sadness inside
I laugh at all the right places, seeing smiles on your faces
Yet my untamed anger is screaming inside wanting out
You think I have it all, and I do by many standards
Inside thrives my shame, guilt and insecurities
I play the game of ‘Fake it till you Make it’
Inside is all my worry and fear
It looks like from what I present to have a great life
I am full of pain and see no reason to go on, want to die
I present a pretty picture, all dressed up
Inside is regret, mistakes and confusion
The one with a great big smile
So I give to you this gift, my disguise
What hides underneath you can’t even comprehend.16~The morning bright
Gone is the cold dark night17~
Long dirt roads winding
Lush green trees heavily loaded
Luna looking over all18~
C= calvary
R= redemption
O= of
S= soul
S= saved19~
I have walked on many a stone path
Many a stone has been thrown at me
By someone demonstrating their wrath
‘Dumb as’ I have spoken to many
Known a few with them in their head
Pile them all up and this is where I am
Now I stand on the “Rock of Ages” 20-
This feeling afraid to share
Misery so very unfairHard to bear all this painPlaying with feelings like a gameMove on from this despair and pain
Tired of tears and fears… going to dreamI am woman I am strong
No more will I be wrongNo more hanging head in shame
No more guilt, regret or blameI believe in the miracles of choiceI kneel to pray, listening for His voiceFor my Master’s love I wish to attain
I will achieve by this one true refrain
To You Lord I give my all I surrender21~Majority of my days I wish to liveThen there are days I wish it to be over
Days I wait to die and lie beneath cloverSome days I wait with anticipationOh, today I am just fine; wonderful in fact
My days are filled with strength and weakness
Depending on the choice of act and or reactToday I am lost, yesterday found
Yesterday I was close to truth
Most days just keep going aroundI know this life will be allright
Even though I wish I could hide
Go away and just disappear
Tell everyone to stay aside
No one need be near

22~
Alzehiemers taking over hubs more and more each day…
I am afraid…
I may not be able to hold up my end…
MUST grow thicker skin!

 

 23~
Laughter like lemonade sour or sweetQuenching a thirst, a need with citric nectar
Hitting the belly with a great release

24~rushing waters flow
speckled trout flash silver and gold
in deep rivers we are swept

25~

the crescent moon
the frozen ground
can’t sleep movin’ round

26~
Continuous chain of willow tree
draped branches in leaves of sadness
limbs intertwined chains of bondage

27~
Moon hanging on by threads
Of gossamer clouds, every shape and size
Sun rising East pulled up by chains of color

Anonymous

 

~~

Tied to infinite tears and pain

Within my heart … where

My cries are like thunder and rain
Listen closely…this is the sound

Of a heart breaking

~~

The sun eases over the horizon

Waking the world around me

Tossing warm rays to one and all

Painting my pale skin a rosy hue

Clouds begin inching across the sky

Fingertips of wind touch warm skin

Sun warms earth, fish and water

Reflecting like diamonds on the…

Waters blanket of blue

Stretching in the sun gazing at the sky

Feeling suns warm rays

Blessed today and always!

~~

With sand so white it is a wondrous sight

The ocean waves building froth of milky white

~~~~

Standing at the Peak of the Rockies
Where mountains crown the land
A majestic view of beauty  at my feet
Forests and glens dappled with sun
Clear water from the streams run
Streaming waterfalls a treasure
Valleys covered in a light mist
Revealed as earth warms and wakens
SHE CRIES
Moon lurches into place this night
Perching over the arid desert
the old highway lines worn, once white
Lead truckers to a room of shabby blight
A woman waits in unknown despair
With nothing but favors to share
The moon perches on neon sign
til sunrise takes its place to shine
as bright as the neon sign blinking…’vacancy’
The woman crying in pain and despair
No life lived, she has none to share
Crying each day her grief
Day to day, week to week
from generation to generation
A woman is crying

****

The ocean beckons me to the warm white sand.
I step from the grass as it calls me from the land

Sweeping over my body the wind begins to blow
Sand pelting my body like bee stings in a row

The sky turning black and gray, blotting the sun
My body cannot move against the wind cannot run

Cold winds making like ice has  made the rain
Freezing in my bones not once but again and again

Frozen lying in the sand, water creeping up to the head
The wind took my breath now I’m dead.
THE BARN
Weathered and Eastern listing
Beaten by snow, hail and wind
Odor of grain still standing strong
Gorged apples, pears and hay in its day
Mucked stalls, tack of leather
Hung and gone to rot
Rusted tractor tired and weary
Mice scurry after winged buzzing things
Empty lofts over run by feral cats
Rusted plows, scythes and such
Metal roof shining brightly just as new
Washed shades of red under the eaves
Mail Pouch Tobacco on silver washed oak
A GENTLE SOUL
Hands gnarled and wrinkled
Cane grasped tightly
She walks stooped and bent
Along the picket fence
Fresh cut grass lush and green
Roses smelling so fragrantly
Lilacs join in the medley of aroma
The old porch swept clean of dust
Ferns hang abundant and new
She hobbles up white-washed steps
Takes up residence in white wicker
To rock and talk
Moonlight shadows stars above
Watch her pick up a ragged book
Cover worn through, loose pages
Falling with scraps of verses
Her Good Book given day of Baptism
An old but gentle soul
Grateful for her blessings
Even in her solitude
As she prays to the one that
Walks and Talks with her
The man upstairs.
AUNT DENAS BARN
Cold each morn walking to school
Not before dragging out the stool
Bucket and warm hands was all it took
Old Betsy would give her tail a lil shook
Times we would crawl up to the loft
playing with the kittens in hay so soft
rode the tractor in playtime pretend
till daylight came to an end
Grabbing the old leather tack
tossing on the old mares back
Taking rides down the hollow
To the lake where sun blazed
Humid and hot we would wallow
Aunt Dena’s barn became refuge as we grew
secrets shared with friends and cousins few
Told in that old loft where childhood we lost
that old gray barn so huge, so safe so secure
we learned to share, to bond, to love as
only family can

***My aunt Dena lived in either Enid or Ada, Oklahoma I can’t really remember. What I do remember is that I always felt safe and loved while there.
SEDUCTION
Your love for me like a sweet addiction
The more you give the more I need
Craving the fix of your sensual touch
Without your love my heart bleeds
Touch me here and there again and again
My body throbs and shakes in delicious pain
and need of your sweet embrace.
Sending me to an unknown ecstasy place
Seduce me my love with your sweet love
Your sweet love is my addiction
~~~
Majority of my days I wish to live

Then there are days I wish it to be over
Days I wait to die and lie beneath clover

Some days I wait with anticipation

Oh, today I am just fine; wonderful in fact
My days are filled with strength and weakness
Depending on the choice of act and or react

Today I am lost, yesterday found
Yesterday I was close to truth
Most days just keep going around

I know this life will be allright
Even though I wish I could hide
Go away and just disappear
Tell everyone to stay aside
No one need be near
HAIKU
rushing waters flow
speckled trout flash silver and gold
in deep rivers we are swept
*****
Lightning with Thunder

Winds howling loudly whipping,

Gray wet clouds about

Splashing Dripping, grab a bucket
the roof just became a spout!


GRANDMOTHERS PLEA
Lord there is so much I could ask
For this or that, even help on a task
A healthy body, an unlined face
Even a home, a beautiful place
I could ask for a life free of fear
Or even one without many tears
Yet, what I want to ask if I may be bold
 Lord give me little hands to hold
Give me little hearts to love, cheeks to kiss
This old heart so full needs a bit of bliss
Lord I could ask for wealth and fame
I’d rather a small child call my name
Reaching for my lap and hand to touch
Lord is this asking for too much?
Lord let me see once more through the eyes
Of a small child awed and in wide-eyed wonder
Discovering all You created here and yonder
The beauty of a horse, a tree, clouds in the skies
Lord let me be loving, with kinder ways
For numbered you have my days
I ask for wisdom Lord to teach and guide
My grandchildren to walk by your side.

copyright 2013~LWC/myownheart.me
originally posted Jan. 24, 2013

COLD
Tresses the color of snow
long, lean limbs so enticing
pale face carved in ice
You lie so quiet and rigid
shrouded in winters sleet

SIX WORDS

IGNORANCE IS SOME PEOPLES BEST FRIEND!
STARS ARE HIDDEN IN MY DREAMS

IT’S TOO HOT TO BE HOTTIES!!!!
NO RESPECT FOR LIFE BY YOUNG

there  are no excuses for lies
Frost is no longer on pumpkin

I Have Forgotten What To Say

ENJOY EVERY PATH YOU JOURNEY UPON
PURSUIT OF TRUTH AND LOVE ~ DIFFICULT

~~~~~~~~~~

Moon hanging on by gossamer threads
clouds, every shape and size
Sun rising East pulled up by chains of color


HUNTED
Into the night sky a creeping
A blush of pink dawn breaking


Chirps and songs of avian
Waking others to sing-a-long

Foggy mists begin to break
As Hunters first steps take
Nearing closer to the bend
Where a bucks time is at end

A spider’s web, fog kissed
As a shroud of the mist
Strikes across the hunters face
Reminding him this is not his place

In the meadow he can see
A doe and fawn drinking peacefully
Raising his rifle with a scope
A scent her only hope

CRACK! Echoes through the air
The doe no longer standing there!

Travels
Many a travel down these stone paths
Struck by so many foolish stones
Some thrown by someone else’s wrath
Sticks ‘n stones hit hard numerous times
‘Dumb as’ spoken to many in different climes
Known a few with them in their head
Slept on a few as a bed
 Yet none have been as hard to overcome
Nor so very heavy and burdensome
As the sack full of stones of the past
Never expected long for them to last
This knapsack, weighted by stones,
Individual stones named like old bones
Guilt, Regret, Abuse and grief
Many stones the size of a pebble
Many are boulders, heavy as metal
Struggled through the latest years
Trying to lose this knapsack of tears

BLESSINGS
Little do we notice

blessings of earth
sweet scent of perfume
blown from the unfurling
of a flower in the garden
listen do you hear the music
as each petal uncurls blessings of earth

Clouds turn gray and begin to weep

like fine crystal they begin to sing
bass drums and cymbals bang
listen do you hear blessings of earth

Busy as a bee, column of ants
one sweetly sings bzzzzzzz
other marches in cadence
listen do you hear blessings of earth

Music made all a flit and twitter
butterfly wings of every hue and color
as it begins to flutter from pupa prison
listen do you hear blessings of earth

Open to the blessings of earth
ears to listen, eyes to see, 
mind to absorb, heart to love
the music made by blessings of earth

 

SEA OF LIFE

Floating in the sea of life
Searching, seeking for what 
It is a ‘do not know squat’ time
Lost in this vast ocean of strife

The mystery of joy and peace
Tis said can be found within 
Torn, battered, scarred
Sea waves wash over my sin

Concern over the past, seeking
Fear of the morrow, searching
Confusion today reeling and reeking
Chaos upon, into , around this life

Unable to fight alone
Unable to stretch 
To meet half~way

A MOTHER’S WISH
I can’t help but wish you were little again
I’ve watched as you faced turmoil and strain
You could have buckled under so much pain
Yet it only helped you to grow stronger.
I remember the joy and laughter
Memories filled with pride over the years
As you grew from toddler to teen
I remember my emotional tears
I thought it would take much longer.
Now you are no longer a child,
A woman, with your own style
Beautiful demeanor, smiles to beguile
A friend to many, always a smile
Proud as I am, so all can see
You have grown till
No longer need me
With a child of your own
To love and nurture
My advice I will give
Cherish each moment~~live
For too fleeting your child will be gone
Taking the heart you have  nurtured and won.

~~~

The morning bright
Gone is the cold dark night
the Sun warms to gold
~~~~~

Woke to soft patter of rain
snuggle deep into pillow
When I arose cloudy gray
we need the blessed rain
hope it stays all day
~~~

IGNORANCE IS SOME PEOPLES BEST FRIEND!
STARS ARE HIDDEN IN MY DREAMS

IT’S TOO HOT TO BE HOTTIES!!!!
NO RESPECT FOR LIFE BY YOUNG

there  are no excuses for lies
Frost is no longer on pumpkin

I Have Forgotten What To Say

ENJOY EVERY PATH YOU JOURNEY UPON
PURSUIT OF TRUTH AND LOVE ~ DIFFICULT

FRIENDSHIP
Gentle smiles or boisterous laughter memories
Makes my heart sing on this cold  cloudy day
Joined together by childish antics you and I
Wandering joyfully along the trails
Tea Party dresses and make believe wishes
For we were children in an innocent time
Of pretty dresses and saddle oxfords

We were young and full of living
Going beyond the horizon in our minds
Flew soaring heights on eagles wings
Danced in the rain, sang our friendship song
Hopscotched to and fro hand in hand
Young and immortal were we

We wove a tale so splendid of our time together
A tapestry of memories to be carried forth in life
Life and circumstance parted us too soon
Now the years have passed and we meet again
Childhood joy beckons as we smile and walk
Down memory lane as if we have known no other
DANCE UNDER THE STARS
Under the night stars let us dance
Walk into my arms, close your eyes
Rest your head upon my shoulder
Let the wind take your feet
Let your soul feel the beat

Feel my breath upon your neck
My arms around you, help to sway
My hips touching yours, go this way
Let the wind take your feet
Let your soul feel the beat

Hear the rhythm of the guitar
Listen to the beat of the drum
Let the saxophone enter your veins
Let the wind take your feet
Let your soul feel the beat

When night is done, we’ve had our fun
Return to life we must  just remember
Making precious memories  never to
Forget our days in the sun, my love
Let the wind take your feet
Let your soul feel the beat.

2013 LWC/myownheart.me
UNDER THE WILLOW
Under the shade of a large Willow tree
Sitting alone feeling suns warmth
The cool soft breeze
I sit in perfect harmony and peace
It shall not last this peace within
Everything is temporal ~trees shed their leaves
Flowers bloom and fade
The sky will become dismal and gray
With clouds moving near from far away
The Willow shall lose its leaves that shade
Like a circle, joy to sad, happy to sorrow
Yet Sun shall shine again tomorrow

copyright LWC/myownheart.me
WORLD CRAZY
Living in this crazy world
Full of fools on crack
Violence abounding
No respect for self or others
Guns, mental illness
Drugs and poverty
No respect of others
School Drop outs
Babies killing babies
Shooting solves problems
Thats what they believe
Hunger  behind closed doors
Debt piled up like hoarders
Some take in family as boarders
To avoid walking ruts in floors
Seen my share of life and it’s woes

GRAVE DUG
I dug a hole very deep under the elm tree
might seem a grave I dug for thee
I dug deeper still these feelings to kill
Anger, loss, grief and stupidity still
For now I drop them in, all the lies
pledges, promises broken, hurt
every handwritten note in earth I laid
All the lies I heard and I once forgave
I pushed them down the hole deep
As I continued to weep
I pressed them hard in the dirt beneath
Pressing lips and grinding my teeth
I placed one mossy rock upon another
just what was close and no bother
then twined a ribbon of daisies wreath
Like our love they died but with no grief

BROKEN PIECES

Heart  shattered into pieces
stolen innocence as a child
no way to pick up pieces
none to show the way

Walk the path dealt
in the dirt and gravel
heart pieces dropped
never to be found
love found, love lost
walked on again and again

Like humpty-dumpty
still broken, still shattered
like Humpty Dumpty
even the king can’t put
this heart back together again
RIVERS EDGE

Turbulent emotions of the heart, rolling and turning
Sitting by the river, wanting to clear minds churning,
Looking into the water feeling emotions torn inside
water flowing over  sharp rocks with tide
the darkness of the mind,  dark as clouds of the night
The rivers edge cannot stop my crying or heal my wounds
It can not  heal my pain or mend my broken heart sounds
Of this broken heart, there is nothing to gain
let the tears flow into the river of water like the Seine
My contribution, although tiny tiny drops
Tumbling over the  massive rocks
Just like my life these tears are of no matter.

WIND

Lone leaf  swirling  with the wind
Wind blowing against naked trees
Emotions roiling with the weather
Moon makes us melancholy
Oceans tide washes our grief
Mountains exalt us
Rivers muddy us
Wind irritates us
Weather changes emotion
Changing my emotions
Tossing about like
Prairies sagebrush

@copyright 2013 LWC/myownheart.me

SLEEP

Days are all alike, life as I knew it has gone
Sleep I must, but it eludes, day or not
Hearing the hour strike again and again
Sleep has left me and I don’t know what to do
Do this chore or that, leave it before tis done
Little use to try as I can see, just sleep I need
Sleep has gone and left me.

@copyright LWC/myownheart.me

LOOK

Look at me and what do you see?
Do you see what I show you?
The one with a great big smile
Hiding inside is my despair
I will comfort and give hugs and love
While shedding my tears of grief, sadness inside
I laugh at all the right places, seeing smiles on your faces
Yet my untamed anger is screaming inside wanting out
You think I have it all, and I do by many standards
Inside thrives my shame, guilt and insecurities

I play the game of ‘Fake it till you Make it’
Inside is all my worry and fear
It looks like from what I present to have a great life
I am full of pain and see no reason to go on, want to die
I present a pretty picture, all dressed up
Inside is regret, mistakes and confusion
The one with a great big smile
So I give to you this gift, my disguise
What hides underneath you can’t even comprehend.

copyright 2013 LWC/myownheart.me

PRETTY EYES

Pretty eyes in great disguise
Hide the pain of lonely hearts
Sobs hidden by their smiles
Screams covered by laughter
Wiping  tears so none will see
The beat of their lonely heart.

MY BABY GIRL
How Many times can a heart break
How big the river of tears to keep
This steady flow, keeps me a wreck
Worry Keeps me from my sleep
Rivers of tears keep a steady flow
It’s a mothers worry, you know?
It’s you I want here with me for a hug a little touch
Think of you every day missing you oh so much
Not a day goes by without wishing for a hug a kiss, a laugh, a cry
Each day my heart breaks just a lil’ bit more.
Tears like glass shatter to the floor…
DEDICATED TO MY DAUGHTER ANDREA MARIE

copyright 2011~2013 Len Williams~Carver
~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake to a brand new day
Thank my God for blessing me
Not sure what lies ahead
Just know God will keep me stead
In dawns break the birds sing
bull frogs croak, bees buzz free
Squirrels chase tree to tree
Wind is howling, like coyote to the moon
All together in perfect harmony.

PROTECTOR
MY feet walk upon this gravel road, carrying always a heavy load

Though I walk alone I feel the presence of another on this road
She treads beside me Lending a hand when I stumble
Protecting me from all even when thunder rumbles
She spreads her beautiful wings, walking softly near
In a voice of the heavenly choir, whispers “Do not fear”
A sweet and graceful angel she be, this one beside me
A porcelain look is her face, pale yet full of Grace
Patience she has abundantly, needing with me daily
She lifts me up every day, tells me I am a treasure
That God above has something for me … it is called love.

EARWORM
Little Mark is upset he has an earworm
Caught the worm from his mama
She has been singing all morn
“This Little Light of Mine”

DANCE

Would you care to dance? To dance with me

On the floor of hardboard, sawdust and reality?

There are many steps to learn and share

Just dance to the rhythm of our hearts
Would you like to dance without a care?

@Copyright 2011~2013 Len Williams ~ Carver

RESOLVE
In the coming year I would like to…
short term..treat others better

not be so sharp toned and tongued

appreciate others and what they do for me more

long term…

learn to play the piano even chopsticks will suffice lol ( seriously want to learn)

visit my sisters more often

Not a lot to do and not hard just need to do it.

God bless!

WEARY
Dreaming of walking the gravel path
Dreaming of truths that never come
Tired of nothing, being new
Tired of trying yet ne’er succeeding

Weary of the blah, blah, says all
Weary of reading ‘n  same ol’news
Sapped of same tunes sung
Sapped of patching , just to do agi’n

Exhausted  of giving  all not receiving half
Exhausted of  gleaning the wheat for chaff
Tired of the disrespect and laughter
Tired of wanting , doing without to look after

Past  crying when tears are cheap
Past the intersection of sleep
Past making memories to keep
Past  never getting it done
Past this life of  dust and cold ash
DOG BALLET
Ballet of the Dogs performing
in the yard of Oak trees. A Plie’
then a perfect Saute’e, many a 
tours en l’air by the Yorkie mix
while his Beagle sister pirouettes
as the gray squirrels perform their
own mocking dance.
WINTER
Wrapped in cozy quilts
Flannel gown fuzzy slippers
Feet pointed to fire
warming little nippers

Tatted window lace
Jack Frost painted
Winter upon this place

Etched icy snowflakes
Falling in moonbeams wake
Magical glow of starry night

Cocooned incubator warm
Lying very quiet and still
As Winter plays and  plays
across valley and hill
BITTERSWEET
Our time together bittersweet

We began with words so much to say

All the social networks did we tweet

When we met, ahh the mind play

Feelings grew tender and to lust

When we touched more was a must

Sweet and hot we became

Love grew from that flame

Such sweet love comes now bitter

To our friends we now twitter

He/she did me wrong, hurt me

They reply ‘you are strong’

If only they knew how bittersweet

A heart can be when love found on a tweet.


MISSING HOME
Hundreds of rainbows could not match the pallet of color before me

Picasso, Monet, all others could not capture the hue with pure paint
Foggy mist covers valleys and mountaintops acre upon acre to see
Hues of yellow turn to gold, purple, orange and magenta twirl
Winds toss and blow leaves through the trees to the ground to swirl
Water sounds rushing traveling over rocks and crevice everywhere
Here, I can breathe, clean crisp air to fill my starved lungs to share
God has made this a sanctuary, a paradise here in the mountains.

 Missing home (Colorado) fresh snow does it to me everytime!

A NEW DAY
A fine dawn breaking

New day sky awakes
Night shedding , receding

Cocks crow, birds sing
Mornings sing-a-long
Bull frogs join on bass
Insects begin their alto

Pond of water- deep 
Fish awake begin to leap
In the meadows and hills
Flowers open their frills

Dawn breaks in serene peace
Sun rises with majestic hue
Night ebbs relenting the release
Giving morns dawn her dew.

FLYING
I would soar through the skies 
with wings majestically spread
wind to catch, to rest my weary head
through clouds of fluffy white, even some dark
I would jettison through the rain, 
like Noah with the ark.
 
to fly like a bird from the nest
I would not too much tire
for upon a wire I would rest

 who needs hours on a nest
when soaring to heavens best

I would fly and fly till I could climb
Through stars sparkling bright
Luna’s craters reflecting her light
Guiding my way ever through the night
to fly like a bird I would choose
and fly to you and never again lose.


PRECIOUS FRIEND
In my life I have a friend so precious and dear

Her heart is so sweet and soft and pure

Much happiness, light and smiles she does bring
She doesn’t know she does all these things

Sometimes she can aggravate and willful be
She works hard to love and to please
This friend I have shines a bright light
All can see she has a loving role
God has given her a loving, caring soul

She has suffered much in her life this friend of mine
Yet she pushes her sorrow deep along with her pain
She looks to the sunny side and never the rain
She has become much more than friend now a confidant
To be entrusted with such beauty and grace, I do my best

I know that given this friend God has abundantly blessed

I knew immediately when first she lay upon my breast

She had left Gods safe haven, leaving wings behind

To become my second daughter to become this friend of mine.

 

DEDICATED TO MY SECOND BORN DAUGHTER DUSTI JEAN


SISTERS
A family tree

Branches of three
Spreading far and wide

Much of life keeps us apart
We are tied heart to heart

Good times we never forget
Of the other we worry, we fret

I love the we of three
I love each of you
Hope you love me
We sisters of three

God blessed me
With a special blessing
When He made us
Sisters of three

 
THE WILLOW

Dappled light captured among her branches
Shimmering symphony of waters reflection
Long reed leaf spirals to ground quietly
A quarter note unheard by human ear

A song of nature, a rhythm, a dance
A breeze blending in with  leafs song
Within the Willows symphony
Melody of change, of chance
Accompanied by natures psalms


COMPASSION
Tension-filled air, because you are here
Without a job, without a car, without a care
I see you struggling trying to ‘get it’ right
Some have no compassion for your plight

TIME
There are no boundaries to time 

Seconds, minutes and hours pass
Like that old  thing of sandy hour glass
Leaving behind memories
Making  new ones, forgetting the old
Where some will leave you warm, some cold

The seasons of our life  measured by time
Brand new to life, learning in the Spring
Summer finds our independence taking wing
Fall we do, in love, marriage, empty nest clime
Winter we age and face our mortality clime

There is no slowing down of time
It moves on to hellos and goodbyes
Each day a step closer to the day we die

@copyright 2011~2013 Len Williams ~ Carver

HEAVENLY BROOCH
The softest blackest hue engulfs me this hour,
the stars and moon reflecting on the sea.
I watch as the midnight hour approaches
praying you will still come to me.
On the tail of a comet you make your grand entrance,
so beautiful and fair.
Your ethereal beauty encircling me as your raven hair
sweeps the sands, hanging the silver brooch of the
stars and moon around my neck.
The ecstasy of your lips as you take that first blood bite.
VALLEY
Dreaming of the valley I once stood

Tree branches lifting arms praise of new day

Capturing  from the sky every heated ray

Turning , East, West, North and South

Unknown song bursting from my mouth.

Dreaming of the valley I once stood,

Sun burning off the morning drops of dew

Lifting cloud of fog for a pond to view

Layered with Lily Pods of majestic purple

Sleepy toads a croak and gurgle

Dreaming of the valley I once stood,

Among the wildflowers growing at  will

Blossoms so lush and full , on strong  stem

Flowers of every genus,  every color and hue

Flowers of the day, Lilies of the Valley, Daisy too

Shades of Moon and Sky flirting with the sun

Dreaming of the valley I once stood

Wild grasses blending, bending heavy with dew

My heart crying out wishing, waiting for you.

A wreath of flowers from this valley I once stood

This valley falling in love, professing our love in vows

Placing this wreath of moon flowers on your final resting place

LOVES JOURNEY
Our journey years ago began
We climbed the highest peaks
Rolling down again and again
We tended our bruises and healed
Continuing  to other mountain tops
Where pain often caused tears to leak

Our burdens at times too heavy to share
Learning to share was a necessity

Yet we lifted each other easing the weight
Laughter becoming our way, the fare
Creating levels of maturity and sensitivity

Never losing our love or sight of our plan
Knowing in our hearts we were meant to be
We make this journey still hand in hand
Our journey years ago began
Would I do it again?
A resounding YES!  Again and Again!!

THIS ‘N THAT

 Large soupy white clumps
Snow  dropping from trees
Like falling leaves in Autumn
Harsh voice, childs tears, heart broken spirit broken

Petals of rose so velvet
Touching my skin
Surely this good is sin
Playing with my senses
~~~
Dancing like drop of water in hot skillet
Moving faster than a June bug in Zapper
~~~
Jive Talker Jive Walker
Stylin as your Lyin
Playing the Player
With lies and alibis
~~

Sun and Moon wane
Rain and wind came
Leaving left me lame
Love out like a flame
~~~
Hi~top sneakers
All he asks
Sixty dollars
Makes my heart weaker
Breaks to say ~sorry
His dream of tryouts~ shattered
B~Ball is his game ..scouted
Pawn shop items scattered
To fulfill his dream.

EVIL HERO

He came to me in the night
This one evil, a fake hero
Once he heard of my plight
To steal my body make me zero

Gazing upon my tear washed face
Outstretched arms we embraced
Cold chills up rush  my spine
Yet heat yes heat so divine
He kisses my lips  holding tightly
Visiting my heart my soul nightly
Wanting to consume marking me sold
Controller he lives to be in his fold
With all my being, know,  It’s not right
With all I have I begin to fight
Mind starting to race
I stare at this evil devils face
Fire erupts through my eyes
I will no longer hear evil lies
For tonight control is mine
His blackened heart
I Burned so divine
He came to me in the night
This one evil, a fake hero
Once he heard of my plight
To steal my body make me zero

 

 

****

My heart is still
Yet I sing at will
I let my voice soar
far and wide
Casting to the winds
My heart so bare
I sing to share
My song of Joy
My song of Pain
Sing of lonely times
Moonlit nights
Rain and sun
When life is done
Yet I sing at will 

WINTER

Dark, cold, heavy snow everywhere
Silence so quiet it is deafening, 
One hears pine needles fall
Stars in dark sky light a path
As Sheep huddle close 
Cattle herd for warmth   
As temperatures plunge
To depths unknown
Morning dawns

Heavy snow bending boughs
Sun rays peeking through
Crystals like brilliant spears
as sparkling diamond tears

 

~~

Howling, screaming, shaking
Rattling panes of glass
O, Storm of wind

Swirling through my brain
Scenes of the past
Stop the insane noise
Sounds of voice…evil words
O, storm of wind
Disperse your evil to hell!

DISEASE

Your gentle words and loving touch
Aching for loss of you; the you
That loved so much.
Now lost in age and pain
Harsh words pour like summer rain
Ripping my heart like paper shreds
Your anger every hue of colors reds
~~
Reaching for flesh to feel
You turn from the touch
As if my love you repel
No longer feel the heat rush.
~~
Sadly you have forgeotten
How once we were besotten
~~
Now its snap and misunderstandings
Feelings choking with the tears
In mind and heart Imaginary fears
Memories lost, never to regain

Dark Footprints
The journey through the winding paths
gravel, mud and sand
Leave dark footprints to trek again – again
Lost in the mud and quick sand pit
Fear of losing minutes of the day
Losing Sanity along the way
*****
Want to know your love
need to feel the sweet love
want to know your love
taste your sweet words of love
what it is, what is your love

want to know your love

ON FIRE
Light me up light me
Set me on fire

White hot coals to ash
burn me burn me
with your fiery love

LOVE LIES

The pile of lies
See it in your eyes
don’t want pity
don’t want you witty
just hold me while I
cry a little for losing you

WASHED CLEAN
The ocean called to her soul late at night  she had to go, she couldn’t explain the longing inside watching the tide come in and wash away the dirt as it went back out. She wanted to be washed clean in that way, to see the reflection of the moon on the water rippling with the waves, then  hitting the sand with such force as it ebbed back into the mass.
She wanted to touch the moon in the water, wanted the waves to wash her spirit clean, tonight she planned on touching the full moon to ease the longing it brought forth.
The song “Secretly Devoted To You” kept playing in her head, her mom used to sing that song to her, well mama I hear it what are you trying to say to me now?
The water was cool on her skin as she entered the sea with the kelp wrapping around her and tugging at her the farther she went the closer to her goal but the waves, the waves, held her down in the reflection of the full moon.

MUSIC
LOST  in the outer world of the music
Listening to the melody, letting it take your mind
Each note the sound of your heart drifting away from mine
Hearing the melodic tones of my tears drop
Like cymbals crashing
Lost in the outer world of music
Remembering when we danced and you were mine.    

WE SHARE:


CANDY ….ever receive a box of chocolates and not share…thought not
FOOD….    either with family or the homeless lady down the block
DRINKS……that vanilla shake shared with your spouse
CLOTHING….. remember …with your best friends, first date or party
TOYS……… ever watch children on the playground or in a sand pile ?
DATA… we do this daily at work or play
TRANSPORTATION… the seat next to you on the bus  or subway
IDEAS…. brain stormed lately?
STORIES…. what I am doing right now
SECRETS….so fun to share
BOOKS….. when it is just so good you have to share
TIME……very important to share time with family and friends
DREAMS….. ah yes must share dreams to turn them to goals.
L
OVE……… MUST NEVER FORGET THE LOVE WE SHARE
Pr 8:17 I 
love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.

 

WHY CAN WE NOT SHARE PEACE ON EARTH?  

~~~~

Darkened skye
Darkened sea
Floating in fear
Holding to no one
Holding to nothing
There is only ME!
~~~

Chapel visit for help
Anyone Here? Anyone?
Begging for an answer
Help me Help me
Not for me Lord
Not for me
For my child Lord For my child!!!

~~~

~~~

Old and New friends “Welcome”
To our home, our  ‘Gathering Place’
Where family friends and laughter abide
Where faith, hope, and mercy are daily gifts
Come on in we will entertain you with gifts
Given on the authority of the Holy Word.
~~~
Your killing me
Turn out the lights
I don’t want to look upon your face
Loving you isn’t right
I can’t stop myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The beauty of love on your face
Means another has taken my place
Standing there in your satin and lace
Your eyes shining with light and grace
Vowing to love another in my place.
~~~~~~~

the_old_bridge_by_ck_the_photographers-d3cv9mt

Fourteen steps, to cross the old wooden bridge.
Marilyn knew for  traversing to  Connors Ridge,

She feared Michael would be caught
until his first step she feared he was shot.

Arming America for the civil unrest
was their destination, their quest.

They worked as a team making the guns
Only he delivered the many many tons

While she waited with prayers in her heart
Til’ hearing the first step then she knew
God answered prayers in whole or part

MY HAND

She held my hand so tightly
The thin brown skin so taut
Across the knuckles turned white
Making her point by pressure
For she could no longer speak
Not since stroke took her voice
I knew what she was saying
She had done so many times before
“I love you my daughter, be safe”
I never left the house, this didn’t echo
Now she says it by action, in her eyes
“I love you too moma” as I pull my hand away.

MEMORIES

Our eyes all wet and teary
Memories  keep us warm
Sentimental yet cheery
Family descends in swarm
Buzzing like bumble bees
Making new precious memories

FACES

You have many masks and hats to wear, not necessarily proud of all but they are there.

There is the face looked at in the mirror and think not bad for an oldie, a few wrinkles, a head of gray and pleasingly plump. Oh sure there are things to change, should it be chosen …don’t know why haven’t, is there no want to?
Then there is a happy face, the one presented 95% of the time to the public and to family, the stoic member of the family.
Then there is the real person the one that has the furrowed brow, the down-turned mouth with the parenthesis lines on each side of the chin.
You can apply tons of makeup of every color and hue but the inside of you never changes. You can color hair and lose or gain weight yet you are still you.
Not a perfect face, not really pretty, no high cheekbones or voluptuous lips.
You are … you.
You can be a  Christian… or not
A worrier… a calm in the storm
A wife or husband, lover, friend, co worker
A parent, grandparent, sibling and more
YOU, YOU  are so much more than all the labels.
Do you know who you truly are?
You are an at fault human being
You are worthy
You are insecure
you are  fearful of this life
You have issues like everyone else….

Your many faces can be painted up or stripped bare
You are who you are.

 

*** 

LOVE WAS LEFT TO ME
ONE THAT FILLED MY SOUL

A LOVE FOREVER SAY TO ME
 LEGACY OF LOVE YOU DESIGNED

TIED FOREVER  A LOVERS KNOT
 NOW ALONE UNHAPPY AND DROLL

FOR YOU FAILED ! YOU LIED!

 LEGACY OF LOVE YOU DESIGNED
TIED FOREVER  A LOVERS KNOT

TO YOUR MOTHERS APRON STRINGS!

****

SHE SADDLED UP and mounted, the tears flowing like rain
How was she to say goodbye with her heart in so much pain
Meeting the train bringing him home to place in the ground alone
Ii isn’t right to leave him there alone, cold, frightened without me.
The love of my life and now he’s gone, for what a war over what
Oil, religion, dictatorships, what?? Does it even matter he was shot
BY what the military is calling friendly fire.
He is still dead, my love, my life.

BAREFOOT DANCER

SHE twirls about in her multi-colored broom skirt
Leaving the shreds of her slippers where they lie;
The music within her soul making her feet dance
Hem of her skirt leaving ravels of blue, red, and rust
Her bare feet making the dirt puff up at her heels
Like smoke making her move quickly in her dance
Her spirited dance, raven hair flying in time with her feet
Her flushed face, sparkling, laughing,  hazel eyes and pouted lips
Every male within sight craving her wanton abandon to the dance
She will not give the time of day for dance is all she craves.

THOUGHTS RANDOMLY

KNOW not what weather brings
SEASONS change …of all things
OPEN the door just to see
SNOW, wind, rain or sun brightly
~~~~~~

‘TIS BUT THREE A.M. AND HERE I SIT
TRYING TO EASE THE RUMBLINGS OF 
THE MUSE
I AM WITHOUT ANY WORDS TO FIT
LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION TO USE
ALL I SEEM TO HAVE IS YAWNS!
                           ~~~~~~~

COFFEE,  strong , steamy and black
TEA,  strong, steamy and unsweetened
CAPPUCCINO, French vanilla or Pumpkin spice
CHOICES to be made as I must have one
WITH this blueberry muffin so nice yummm.

LESSONS LEARNED

I could write a novel about lessons I have learned but the way I learned well it is just to tear-jerky, sad etc, so I will just list a few here …

I learned as a child you cannot trust adults especially the ones raising you.
That their kind of love is wrong from an adult to a child.
I learned that mommy’s that say they will be back in two hours can’t tell time unless 2 hours equals seven years
I learned that many ‘daddy’s’ don’t make anyone happy, least of all mommy and siblings.
I learned that falling in lust is different than falling in love
I learned that falling in real love doesn’t last, God takes them home anyway even if you need them more
I learned that husbands that beat you up and say I’m sorry, are lying.
I learned that no matter how much you love your children they don’t or can’t always love you back
I learned that mental illness is a horrible family destroying disease
I learned that no matter how much you want another to make you happy, it won’t happen you have to learn to be happy with you and to enjoy your own quiet and be content before others can share in that happiness.
I learned that grand children are the second most precious thing in the world and heart and when they aren’t around it hurts.
I learned that blessings come from the most unexpected places and people, and I am so grateful
I learned that as a single mom, my children needed me more than the money
I learned that next to God My Lord and Savior I need nothing but my wonderful husband and my family
I learned that even when I thought I was alone I was not God was always there to hold my hand, to carry me, to soothe me, to give me pure love and a peaceful heart.
I learned it is never to late to be saved, to be reborn, to walk the narrow path with Christ
I learned that life can kick you in the stomach and double you over when you lose a child, to death
I learned that no one can tell you it was for the best, you have other children,  or get over it, it’s done, with out me as a Christian still wanting to kick them ..HARD!!
I have learned that I have no filter between brain and mouth… I will always tell you what I think.
I have learned that if you let me ramble I will, so tell me that’s enough I will listen.

CALM THE STORM

THERE ARE SO MANY  things in my life right now that I should be worried about or fretting over some very serious to myself or others in the family and you know I just can’t be worried or fretful. I have this peace in my heart, this calming feeling of just ahhhhh. I have several plaques on my office wall (if I ever get it cleaned up I will take a photo), but one says “Sometimes God calms the storm… Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.” that is the way I am feeling right now just calm. 

THERE IS SO much wrong with our world yet there is proof everyday that God is moving in so many ways to let us know He is there for us. I am so glad He is aren’t you?

CRISPY OUTSIDE

BRRRR… coffee steam and my breath I can see
THIS cold crisp morning as I step outside
Thinking to enjoy my coffee outdoors while still
possible.
GOING back in for socks and gloves …I can do this
WARM the caffeine, feet and shoulders
NOW I am ready for daily devotionals
FIRST let me get a heavier jacket
Warm the coffee again…
NOW I AM READY! Oh Drat! Drat! Double Drat!!
I am being scolded by a fat chipmunk
MY teeth and his are chattering …so I guess
THIS means we are communicating.
I think he no longer wants to speak
FOR he is trying to eat the pages of my Bible
I am going in, it is not safe out here.

THANKSGIVING

I give thanks that I have a beautiful home for family and friends to come to on this day of Thanksgiving.  Let us not forget to pray for those throughout our world that are in the midst of war, famine, drought and those here in our own neighborhoods that are homeless and without provisions on a daily basis.
Please when your family comes together this year let all pettiness and sibling rivalry or whatever division you may have be gone. When it comes down to the nitty gritty of life, family is what it is all about and all you have. Enjoy the dinner  and visiting make beautiful precious memories together and  give thanks unto the LORD for without HIM we would be nothing. Now I am off to cook 20 pounds of potatoes, 10 pounds of corn and I have already made three batches of homemade yeast rolls and still have a pecan pie to make for the church dinner tomorrow. I have not quite that much to do for my own family on Thursday. LOL  ENJOY AND GOD BLESS EACH OF YOU ABUNDANTLY!

VISITORS

GAZING upwards  at the stars
WATCHING clouds cross the moon
FLICKER cross leaves. ..light bars
BEAMS of brightness … commune
~~~

OTHER  planets other life
SATELLITES or jet emissions
Explanation cause of strife
VISITORS sent earned a commission
~~~~

JOTS AND DOTS

SOMETIMES there are no words
ONLY love, hugs, sympathy and empathy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

PUT the kettle on the fire
A spot of tea when I am done
WILL sit just right on these old bones
A warm log fire, my slippers and my dog
WHO could ask for more?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WEARY and sore
HOT  sweaty panting
TRY it once more
FOREGO the 1-2-3 chanting
BREATHE,  BREATHE
Elliptical set me free
NOT until a size three 🙂
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

STORMY SEAS
WAVE after wave
WASHING  ashore
SECRETS lost a’fore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

XXX POST
HIS eyes were fire
PASSION rising higher and higher
HER eyes and smile coy
FLIRTING with this boy
HIS  fire a pulsing need
NEED to quench her
HER need shallow as a reed
HER answer a slur
HIS passion, need, fire
EXPLODES, RAGE A PYRE
HE pulls her back by raven hair
SHE laughs thinking sex
AS he slices her throat
HOT pulsing throbbing semen
MIXES with her blood as he gasps
DROPS  her and walks away.
DANCER
CROSSING the bridge on pointed toe
TRAFFIC stopped to see her dance
WITH  beauty, grace and flow
INTO a new life  a second chance
PEACE AND LOVESHARE the dream for peace
SHARE the dream
 for love
ONCE I marched singing “Give peace a Chance”
ONCE I knew of a plan to “Make Love Not War”
NOW I know we will never have a world of peace
NOW I know we will never just love without war
I heard a man speak once “I Had A Dream”
I heard a man speak once ” Time For A Change”IS it possible to dream, love, change
OR will we as a world have war, famine,
racism, greed, brutality, injustice?
~~~~~~
SILENCE 
WARMTH of the day sails
still in the silence of the sun
GENTLY without sound
lap the waves
SEASONAL colours abound
unmoved by a breeze
SILENCE …LISTEN
~~~~~~
LOVE LASTING
YEARS AGO when love was new
STARS in the eyes, smiles for two
KISSES stolen in the night
LIFE revolved two as one
IT WAS  right it was done

YEARS have passed in flash of light
CHILDREN grown lives of own
KNOWING they raised them right
LOVE still abides strongly grown
STARS in the eyes, smiles for two
KISSES stolen now any where it feels right!!
~~~~
VETERAN’S DAY
our day to say thank you to the many that
HAVE proudly served this country.
BECAUSE of the bravery, willingness and self-sacrifice
I can if I wish… bear arms, speak freely, worship freely
OBTAIN any level of education without cause of finance or gender
THIS great nation was founded on those principles and
I for one am very grateful to the military men and women
PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE!!!
GOD BLESS AMERICA AND THE TROOPS
GOD BLESS THOSE THAT HAVE SERVED
THANK YOU ALL THAT SERVE TODAY!!
~~~~~~~
GIVING THANKS
THE fireplace is lit, the warmth and aroma of burning wood
A THROW across the feet or Grams shawl at the shoulders
HOT Chocolate, Tea or Cappuccino to sip
THE latest from my favorite authors to read , a magazine of
HOLIDAY ideas putting in the mood for Christmas.
Drat! Drat! and Double Drat !!..have to get through Thanksgiving First!
Ah, truly don’t mind family will be here making precious memories!GIVING THANKS
AROUND this table they will gather in thanks
FOR each other and time spent together
ENJOYING the food, fellowship AND LOVE
WITH those not seen often and missed
REMEMBERING those gone home to heaven
PRAISING OUR LORD FOR BLESSINGS GIVEN
THANK YOU LORD FOR MOVING HEARTS TO GIVE
~~~~~~
.
****HEART HURTING,  thoughts swirling
MIND has dark thoughts of what is to be
MISSING loved ones~ daughters
ONE with the LORD one who knows
I MISS YOU SO my heart bleeds
DAUGHTERS of my womb
GIVING you life blood so that you might grow
YOUNGEST how could you doubt my love for you
GOD entrusted you to me, He has forgiven me
WHY OH why can’t you? ANDREA you are welcome home anytime you are loved !****~~~~~
Cross country on Jefferson line
Road noise, others chatter
Smell of unwashed body’s
unbrushed teeth, nasty boys
No matter, destination near
Heart begins to sing as
Miles roll away bringing me near
Heart has no fear
Small town stops, mom pop
Dirty windowed shops
Corn, wheat, rye
Farmers counting yields
Driver hurry, cross that river
Where he awaits among city lights Driver there he is Stop! Stop!The air of the doors as they openTaking last step to his arms I dropHe is holding meSwinging me in his embraceOur love expressed for the world to see.BLUE COLUMBINEsunshine rays echo in the yellow stamen
the white inner being
held in place
with purity and grace
tear dropped ends
petals of the heart
ECSTASYRich intoxicating aroma wafting in the air
Raven beauty almond flesh and flair
Emerging oils glistening lying expectantly
Feeling the excitement in my gasp
As I partake of you, a lick,another
I CAN WAIT NO LONGER……BITE!!
AHHHH ECSTASY the Almond Joy stolen from my childs
treat bag!
madness
It swells then
crashes down on top of
anyone and anything
lying in it’s path
and burns and turns to
ash inside a hollow chest
where blood boils and
rushes and beats and
throbs in her head and
seeps from her palms,
clenched. biting tongue,
un-clamped, writhes and
lashes like a whip into
flesh, ripping and shredding
with no remorse for tears
asking why, for eyes that
plead for the calm and beg
understanding for the madness
unleashed from a face that was
a clear blue sky just
moments before but, now
rages like a beast set free
seeking revenge on the one who
caged her. and they scream
and claw and battle her demons
until she falls tired and sleeps
only then- does mercy come
when she locks herself down,
crashing onto her bed of regret
and hides her face of shameI FEEL LIKE S–T
Hehehe know what your thinking  but it is SNOT!Head is full, eyes feverish
Body hot, body cold
Muscles tight, bones ache
Throat scratchy, nose fullHot tea with lemon
Freshly squeezed orange juice
Even lemonade
Vicks on the chest
Clothes layered for on off ease
Tissues piling up
Cough drop papers scatteredReading Bible for healing passages
Praying  for relief
Going to bed is an option
Six O seven p.m.
Quilts on the bed
Flannel gown both enticing
Good Night****autumn leaves are falling in hoards
hay bales, pumpkins and gourdshay rides black cats candy apples red
candy corn, little stomachs overfedspicy apple cider bobbin apples too
with little children shouting “boooo”SILVER LININGSilver clouds billow across the sky
Casting jewels upon the water
Winking at the sun
SEEKERSApproaching dawn the seekers must be quick
For night dwellers fade like a magic trickThree seekers for  loved ones lost
Searching regardless of safety costNo peace for seekers this night
As dawn shines her lightTHE READER”throw them away, no one wants old books anymore”the old woman heard from beneath the window where she stood
how many years has it been since they said the same about me?
she quietly pushed her cart away from the window and down the
sidewalk, only to turn into the alleyway , she would wait by the
big green dumpster until they tossed away the books.she loved to
read to the others where she lived under the bridge. her old books
spoke to her with words of wisdom and adventure, she loved thefeel of the old bindings, the aroma of ink on parchment
and the words, oh she had traveled in air balloons, on trains, in
cars. she dined with Kings and the homeless like herself, she drank
from an old tin cup and loved in a fine home with crystal and china.
she had been queens and fairies and ladies of the south oh the
wonders of the world were hers through old tattered  beaten books.
she would wait here for the adventures to come, because no one
wanted them anymore either.ASPEN LOVE
Beloved, I stand among the Aspens dreaming of our time together
When the trees were a brilliant green with tall sturdy trunks of white
Hearing the whisper of rustling leaves speaking to one another
Echoing along the mountaintops and into the clouds
Are they telling our secrets Our secret times of loving?I count the days, I loathe the long dark nights
Hungry for you, thirst for you, long for you
Needing your warm sensual touch
Satisfaction a memory of you, only you.spider webNight was her favorite time it meant food without much effort
Porch lights where going on all over the neighborhood,
this meant nourishment and she was
needing to build her strength.  She was exhausted
from spinning the web to hold her babies she did not know how
many only that she was a lot heavier this time. She took off as
fast a crawl she could manage to get to  food.
She felt so much stronger after having a bite, now to get
back to the web and drop these babies. Scurrying across the street
up over the curb and up the porch post ….she shrieked it was gone
her beautiful web was gone!  COLD
Sniff Sniff, Blow Blow,  Dab
Sneeze Sneeze , Elbow ElbowTickle Tickle …Cough Cough
Drops and Vicks all the wayCold shivering, Sweater and Sweats
Too Hot, Hot, Off, Off  Sweater pleaseWhat to do … So miserable
Hot Tea… Iced Orange JuiceOH NO NOT NOW!Off with the mantle of illnessOn with the cape as Angel of MercyMan Woman Ill With Cold : Man and woman wearing masks kissing, flu, A(H1N1), on the white background Stock PhotoFor now I’ve given this Funk to the Hubs“A rose by any other name would smell just as sweet”
My matched love brought acrid roses
From whence I do not pose
Peddler wagon rickety full
Two pence to my heart lull
My second love gave gold jewels
Upon my arms, to jingle jangle
Oh now this talk of many duels
Father pleads me to marry
His choice is jewels Harry
My heart belongs to roses
What to do? What to Do?
Forbidden love or old tart
He loves me, loves me not
I shall use this for a start
MINEMy own heart misses a beat each time we meetHow can you not see that we are meant to beThe moon and stars have aligned for you to be mineGypsy fortunes say it’s so, the leaves they knowPotions brewed  spells are castYou shall be mine at last!HARVEST MOON
Crafty Crafters, County Fairs

Picking Apples, Choosing PearsCarving Pumpkins,  Scary Faces
 Happy Ones  Many PlacesFall Into Autumn Time               image photo : Autumn leaves with shallow focus backgroundPumpkins and FlowersLeaves of  Yellow, Golden Spun
Bright  Light of Autumn SunChill of  Air Turned Crisp
Cinnamon Apple TwistsFall Into Autumn TimeHot Mulled Apple Cider
Brandied Pear Makes BrighterFall Into Autumn TimeGrandma’s  Old Quilts
Draped O’er Porch Rocker Harvest Moon Divine
Fall Into Autumn FineMAKING MEMORIES
World is spinning looping twistingSo much done, much to doSmall  celebration, large memorySisters remembrancesSisters making memoriesDISAGREECan we agree to disagreeI have opinions two or threeAre you listening to me???You are NOT always right
Not everything is black or whiteTorrent of your mouth and mindnasty, hateful vicious vileYou my friend are in denialI won’t be your whipping postJust because you’re the hostWhat are your reasonsFor treating me this way?Occasions of the seasons?Never mind you are not importantenough to me !!!speak to a woman’s heart
                  with trutha woman’s voice not to be silenced
by man with fear and intimidationvoice may be silenced  my secret strength
is in my name
HOUSEKEEPING FAIRYTALE
Seems a week day to me
Chores the same today
as  yesterday …cook,Sleeping Fairy : Little angel sleeping in the sky Stock Photo
clean, repeat.
I found the laundry fairy deceased in the dryer
Just too many loads but I had to try her
Sister Airie on top of washer gasping
Her gossamer wings so good
at fluttering the dusta fairylike girl that represented the Autumn Stock Photo - 13896152
from so many things.Their brother handsome Klopp, was so great with a mop
He could twist, flip ‘n flop
make a floor dry as cotton
and he was spoiled rotten
Fantasy Fairy Doing Housework : Fairy Boy with green gossamer wings, 3d digitally rendered illustration Stock Photo.
Oh and then their was cousin Jed
fastest ever seen to make a bedFantasy Figure  Stock Photo - 8982441
Flying from corner to cornerFantasy Fairy Mermaid : Fairy in bubble holding wand
with nary a wrinkle.
Sister to Jed was Loyal
A Fairy Mermaid true
Loved the water blue
All the thrones were cleaned
As if they were  Royal!This is the end of this fairy ditty
My friends so itty-bitty
Have left me,they didn’t like working for free!****Memories of you haunt mind and heartSo many through  the years, where to startYour beauty, charm or quick witMemories of you just won’t  quitRIP my daughter memories … never forgotten.IF LIFE…If life was like a box of chocolates…
If it was like a bowl of cherries…
Or perhaps a wedge of cheese…If only….Instead my life is like a bowl of spaghetti…
Many strands of noodles twisted and twined
Covered in marinara sauce and cheese
Sometimes with meatballs or sauceI would prefer the chocolate with the cherries maybe
A banana perhaps a little ice cream, nuts (not my family please)
A scoop of whipped cream oh pineapple too
Yes that is it a banana split!
If only life were like…….image photo : Banana splitFACESLooking closely in the mirror  to see
if make~up covered the bruise
something she normally would not useshe drops her hand from her face
hair falling back in place
mind is dull as is her care level
tired tired tired go back to beda wish in her head yes of bed
dream of love long deadmirror beckons one more time
work work for another dimedomestic violence so it’s called
survival screams silently in her head
mentally her fist are balled~~~~~~~~Lying in the hammock hung between  two big oak trees smelling the damp earth
Gently rocking watching the light play between the leaves and sun
Tom cat stretching on fence rail  watching squirrels in the trees
Great novel by my side,  dozing in and out, life is  goodDANCING STRANGERSHe walked to the table thru the smoky haze
Striding long denim covered legs
Torn at the knee as all the craze
She looked up with a questioning look
Her friends sighed reaching hands to hook
Looking at her he held out his hand
Mesmerized feeling the heat, beat of the bandThey danced without speaking fast and slow
Dance after dance , body to body, toe to toe
His arms held her protectively  gently safe
The band took a break she asked his name “Rafe”
“Mine,” she…  “Is Trisha” he proclaimed.NIGHTNight raises its eerie head bringing with it the glow of a full moon.
Night creatures moved searching for food needing it soon. They
crawled, slithered and scurried about, the mouse, reptiles and scarab
beetles to name a few. Following the route of the black and green
blowfly, they soon found their smorgasbord so complete.
As  they crawled over under and through his body they began to eat.LOVE IN THE STARSHanging the Moon and stars for you
The moon shall give light to see
Words of my love written with those stars
Take my hand and dance with me
Among the constellations of the Milky Way
Hold me close as we Waltz through the
Little Dipper, Lynx and Leo Minor
Fox Trot through Orion, Phoenix, and AraWhile the moon shows the way  we will rest
At the Star Sculptor as he dances with Antilia
The Phoenix will rise to dance with Cassropeia
Celebrating our love made in the stars with the
waxen Moon showing the way, to Aries, Geminii
Libra and the rest , showing you my heart hanging
amongst the stars for you to accept.HOME AND HEARTThis Kansas weather has me beat
Tired of color brown, green is sweet
Dry everything, rain dance or sing
Don’t know what to do stay in where it’s coolOR….Dream a dream of home
Mountains of snow
Shining like chrome
Water so pure and true
Reflecting the beauty
Of snow and Ice Blue
Cool breezes oh so niceMemories of home
Haunt my mind
I will stay here
Making memories
Of my heartDO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE?
Do you really? Are you a mother a father
A brother, sister,aunt, uncle, cousin
Parent, child, boss, employee?
Are these the labels you wear
Or is this who you really are?Searching your heart and Mind
Can you describe who you really 

Are on the inside?
Some come late to self-discovery
Some get it early
Some never do
A WALKTake my hand  walk with me
This path has twist and turns
Covered in Flowers,  vines, bushes
Boxwoods, Eunomynis and Anemoe
Multi- shades of greens backdrop
Our path leading to a bench
Water springs forth from rock and
fountain, where we toss coins to
make wishes.

DONE

There is nothing left of me today
I am an exhausted washed up body
My eyes are swollen, my heart is numb
My legs are swollen my feet black as plums
This boot has me in a mess with the hip
But this to shall pass if I don’t trip
Need to study for Bible class
But need to rest on my basket chair
Out side in the fresh air.
Jesus I pray will understand
that for tonight I will stay where I land.

SOULS

Tortured Souls walk upon the earth
Feet blackened from the dirt
Robes of white now gray bordering black
Moaning and groaning crying out
Why have we been forsaken?

THE HOUSE

The house down the road is empty now
Standing alone with tears in the window pane
The porch once wrapped around with love
With wicker , lemonade and Boston Ferns
Now peels it’s paint and spider webs entertain
The Weeping Willow  weeps each day
wondering why they went away
The tire swing in the big ol’oak swings alone
echoes of laughter  of every tone
The door stands partially open to invite you in
Don’t enter  for heartbreak resides

JAVA MORN

Morning dawns
Yawn yawn
mug of java
like molten lava
suffer wrath
in my path
to the pot!

THE OL’ MAYTAG AND GLIDER
The old Maytag wringer was sloshing away with the load of whites, I could smell the lye soap and bleach.
Gram allowed me to sit in the glider and read in between loads until it was time to run them through the wringer
into the rinse tubs. I hated wringing the clothes into those galvanized tubs on their spindly legs and hot water.
It hasn’t been that long since I caught my hair in that wringer I hate my hair too, just so you know, it’s long and stringy thin my head hurts just thinking of that wringer.
I am reading The Hardy Boys hiding it behind a church book I am supposed to be learning a verse from, I already know it and even if I didn’t I can learn things like that in a minute or two. I get straight ‘A’s” and I am in the fifth grade I have never missed a day of school since kindergarten, I always get sick in the summer. I wish I wasn’t so smart the other kids don’t like me because I always know the answers and get ‘A’s’ on everything on top of that I am skinny and short and I have to wear ugly shoes to school, so I get teased and called spider legs, and all my clothes are homemade not store bought like theirs. I try to act dumb but the teachers know I know the answers, ah well just the burden I carry.
I love being out here on the porch, Grandpa enclosed the back porch in screen windows and a wide door  so Gram could wash and iron out here and not have so far to carry the laundry to hang. I can lay here enveloped in the cushions, pushing with my foo,t back and forth, it goes making me sleepy on warm days. I smell the sweet peas on the side fence and all the flowers in Grams garden. Looking up I can see the blue sky,  butterflies flitting , oh and the hummingbirds hovering over the red and orange flowers. Gram has a pet squirrel that lives in the cottonwood tree I hear him chattering looking up, I see the neighbors cat in the cottonwood, that tree is as big around as two or three houses, with branches extending forever it seems. Hmmm  getting sleepy but I hear Gram shuffling towards the porch, my glider time is over until we hang the last sheet then I will be back.

DIFFERENCES

Moody Blues
Mean Green
Sunny Yellow
Black as Night
White as Snow
Purple Haze

Color descriptions
Describing the world
Describing the people

Gray Clouds
Blue Skies
Cherry Reds

Black People
White People
Yellow People
Brown People

My blood is red when I bleed
My tears are clear and taste salty
Everyone’s blood is red when they bleed
Everyone’s tears are clear and taste salty

So why do we hate that which is different
Why do we hate those that are different
Why do we fear what we don’t understand
reach out a hand say hello, give a smile
Do Not fear those of difference
Embrace, Open Mind, Accept
The differences of Each Other

DREAD

Going down South yesterday to see my sister was only the third time
since my daughter passed, that and passing my mothers place and the
worry over my sister I cried a lot just glad daughter and grandson were
with me.

Late night  memories of you taunt me
in my dreams you visit
my tears are pouring
then, then I remember
beautiful times happier times
I know then I can go on

ANXIOUS

Jo had drawn many an uneasy breathe during the night
that feeling that has your heart crumbling was with her
she knew something was wrong but what?

Steven wasn’t home yet that’s not right

She tried to sleep but could not
He was always home midnight on the dot.

Dawn appeared in the Eastern sky
when the Sheriff arrived at the door
To inform her of the accident, Steven was no more
As she began to crumble sliding to the floor
Her son walked through the door
He had loaned his truck to a friend
Steven was sickened at his end.

MUSIC IN MY SOUL

Music is in my soul, my soul is music
My heart and spirit fill with the beauty of music

There is beauty in every genre

Classical, Jazz, R& B, Christian, Country
and many more.

I wish I could carry a tune or a beat
or play an instrument even a tambourine

But my talent lies in listening
So Lord thank you for that blessing!

SHOPPING
I have scoured the web
and catalogs too

I have measured and asked
what shape am I, whats the rule???

I have visited every store

at the mall, through every door

Walking away angry with myself

and placating sales staff
thinking I am riff~raff

I am but one shape so please don’t ask
just look see that is round

So please no sheath or ruch

No I don’t want sleeveless or halter

Have you seen these flags a waving???

Give me a break is a commission based
on your placating attitude?

A simple A line with half to three quarter

sleeve, tea length.. as  vertically challenged people
should not wear dresses to the ankle

Yes Ma’am I do know Omar the Tent Maker is no
longer desinging for Delta Burke types, but don’t

you have some scrap of something he might have left
so many details and this one big

wish I hadn’t eaten like a pig!

 

LATE AT NIGHT MY HEART CRIES OUT FOR YOUR LOVE
BEATING MY BREASTBONE I PLEAD WITH WHICHEVER
SUPREME BEING IS LISTENING , MY GOD, YOUR ALLAH

HEAR MY PLEA BRING HIS LOVE  BACK HOME TO ME

RAIN

Listen…shhh ..do you hear it?

off in the distance I can

the roll of thunder
see the lightning strikes

Opening the door the aroma
that only rain can have
feeling the coolness upon my skin
as sensual as a lovers touch

I dance, spinning, twisting side
to side
Splashing through puddles
breathing deeply~ fresh air
Thanking Our Heavenly Father

PATHS

Sometimes there just isn’t an explanation for the paths we must travel

We walk, run and crawl going as far as we can then we come to the

four way stop. Right, left or straight ahead never look behind for the

past is the past either we learned the necessary lesson from it or we
failed to learn and whatever was taught is gone…no regrets.

Many times we do not have a choice of the path we walk, like a child

we are unable to decide for ourselves others must do that for us…
those that love us unconditionally as a child will always do what they believe

to be best for us. Then there are those that will use us to their perversions

for their own satisfaction, these are choices we had no control over and must not

suffer blame or guilt.

 

As we grow and travel those paths we sometimes walk alone, in others shoes,

with others and if we believe, we walk with God beside us. My journey has been

as I have said before like walking on gravel barefoot. I have learned, I have made

mistakes, very few do I regret but those that I do regret affected others and this…

these actions haunt me.

I have suffered no more no less than anyone else I am sure and there was a time I
could not ask God to walk with me…

 

I hope that the journey you are on is regret and guilt-free, that you will think about where

you are going in your travels, meet new people that are beneficial to you. That you are treated

and show respect well, that each step you take is on the path you should be on that you learn

and never look back.

 

YOU ARE…
for years I have said “you are my world”
then I saw this
 plaque “you are what
happened when I wished upon a star”

Oh, how true these statements.
meeting you the clouds moved away
the rain stopped for the day
sun began to shine in my heart and eyes too
on the day I met you.

MAY DECEMBER

desperation hidden behind her smile
flirtatious  with  a select few
faking the pleasure they are giving,
interests? sure they are the same
boating, horses, cars, sports oh my yes

the five and a half carat bling of her ring
silk pajamas, mules by Giovanni
stylist and manicure come to her now
shopping, luncheons are her interest

 flaunting her wealth
a favorite hobby,
 degradation…

of any and all, a well honed hobby

she is what she wanted, what she made into
older man with money, lover doesn’t
matter male or female anyone
insatiable bitch she prides on being
to any that will try to satisfy
a prostitution of her soul, body, mind
instant gratification flashing her name
her bling her body
desperation hidden behind her smile
her money bag is empty now~  six feet under

“left it all to charity” says his  lawyer

“as we speak you are being moved from the
estate all locks are being changed and
caretakers told you are not welcome at the others”
His last words were for you
“now you cheating, traitor you are
truly desperate and frustrated. ”
And the lawyer chuckled.

I CRIED

I CRIED MY LAST TEAR YESTERDAY
IT ROLLED OFF MY CHEEK AND LANDED
ON MY HAND …WHERE IT SAT
FOR A MOMENT AND THEN DRIED

I CRIED MY LAST TEAR THIS MORNING
IT ROLLED OFF MY LIP…

ONTO MY CHIN
I WIPED IT WITH MY NAPKIN 
DISAPPEARING QUICKLY

CRIED MY LAST TEAR TONIGHT
I WATCHED AS IT DROPPED TO
MY PILLOW…

ROUND THE BEND

I HAVE GONE ‘ROUND THE BEND
LOONEY TUNES, PSCHYO, UNHINGED

FOR THE HEAT HAS BROKEN FOR A DAY
THERE ARE CLOUDS …RAIN ON THE WAY???

NO MATTER I HAVE WASHED THE AUTOS
WATERED THE FRUIT CALLED TOMATOS

WASHED THE DOGS, HOSED THE DECK 
NOW IT WILL RAIN  AND I SHALL PRETEND
TO SAY AH HECK!

I HAVE GONE ‘ROUND THE BEND
LOONEY TUNES, PSYCHO, UNHINGED

GONNA GRAB A COLD ONE SIT OUT
ON THE DECK WATCH THE SQUIRRELS
TORMENT THE DOGS
EAT WATERMELON AND ICE CREAM TWIRLS

I HAVE GONE  ‘ROUND THE BEND
LOONEY TUNES, PSYCHO, UNHINGED

“NOW A LITTLE RAIN MUST FALL” 

THE MEANINGS OF LOVE

WHAT DOES “LOVE” MEAN?
IS IT THAT GIDDY BUTTERFLY FEELING  WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOUR ATTRACTED TOO, OR IS IT THE COMFORT OF THAT OL’ CHENILLE ROBE AND THE WORN OUT SLIPPER WITH HALF A SOLE.

IS IT THE FEELING OF …IF THEY AREN’T WITH ME OR ON THE PHONE, ONLINE WITH ME, OR  EXACTLY
WHERE THEY SAY THEY WILL BE, WE GET THAT ‘THEY DON’T LOVE ME FEELING’
OR KNOWING THAT THEY ARE WHERE THEY NEED TO BE AND YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE AND WHEN YOU COME TOGETHER  IT IS MAGIC.

WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN?

IS IT GIVING THEIR HEART AND SOUL TO YOU AND YOU GIVE BROKEN DREAMS
OR THE OTHER WAY… IS IT TAKING MORE THAN YOU GIVE OR GIVING MORE THAN YOU RECEIVE

IS IT THE ANGST OF PUPPY LOVE, FIRST LOVES, MELDING OF FLESH TO SATISFY

WHAT DOES LOVE MEAN?
A CIRCLE OF GOLD UNBROKEN FILLED WITH TRUST, RESPECT, ADMIRATION AND FUN
A BUILDING OF HEARTS AS ONE OVER TIME TO THE OLD AGE OF TOGETHERNESS,
FAMILY, BLOOD LINES, CHILDREN, GRANDCHILDREN, LIFE, DEATH AND MEMORIES
A SWELLING OF THE HEART WHEN YOU GAZE AT THE PICTURE
ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE.
NO FEAR OF WALKING THE LAST PATH ALONE FOR YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GET TO WHERE YOU BELONG YOUR LOVE WILL BE THERE WITH  OPEN ARMS.

~ICE*WINE~

THE  AIR IS CRISP WITH THE OVERNIGHT  FREEZE
CLUSTERS OF DEEP TO LIGHT  GREEN ORBS
 BENDING VINES DEEP TOWARDS THE  MUSKY EARTH
GENTLY WITH GREAT REVERENCE EACH CLUSTER
MUST BE HAND HARVESTED QUICKLY

THEY GATHERED ONCE PHONED AT THE WINERY
KNOWING A FEW HOURS IS ALL THEY HAD TO HARVEST
THERE ARE OVER TWO HUNDRED MEN AND WOMEN
BUNDLED AGAINST THE COLD IN THERMAL CLOTHING
UNDER THICK WOOL PANTS AND SHIRTS. THEY
MUST BE UNENCUMBERED WHILE HARVESTING, THE
SKY OPENS AND BEAUTIFUL LIGHT  FLAKES BEGIN FALLING
THE NIGHT BECOMES LUMINESCENT NOW WITH THE MOON
STARS AND SNOW.
RIPPING OFF THE NETS THE GRAPES TEND TO FALL INTO
THE WICKER BASKETS  ONLY A FEW TO PICK

AS THE YELLOW SUN BEGINS ITS ASCENT THE GRAPES ARE
ALREADY BEING PRESSED
WE FINISH THE HUGE BREAKFAST IN THE  LODGE
AND WE ARE TREATED TO LAST YEARS BREW
THE SCENT  AND TASTE OF HONEY IN THIS SPARKLING GOLDEN
NECTAR IS TRULY THE NECTAR OF THE GODS.
ICE WINE IS VERY EXPENSIVE DUE TO ONE BOTTLE PRODUCED FROM EACH VINE
IT HAS A SWEET BUT ACIDIC TASTE THAT MAKES IT PERFECT AS A DESSERT WINE.
OUR NEIGHBOR TO THE NORTH IN CANADA’S NIAGARA AREA IS A LARGE PRODUCER OF THIS WINE.
I HAVE ONLY HAD THIS WINE TWICE IN MY LIFE, I  HAVE IT ON MY BUCKET LIST
FOR AT LEAST ONE MORE TIME.

    I tried I really did I knew that blue rhymed with true
that mean would go with green or tree or even me!
everything I thought of sounded like a third grader
so I read other poetry, intelligent well spoken chatter
from people schooled and unschooled, felt the fool
I evidently don’t have a brain or the ‘write’ tool
giving up tell the professor ‘dog ate my homework’
mom washed it, left it in my other bag, no poet will
I be … just a disheartened mail~room clerk.
***
THERE IS A STAIRWAY RISING TO THE SKY
I HAVE WALKED IT MANY TIMES
EACH TIME I CLIMB TO THE TOP I BEGIN TO CRY
FOR THE GATE WON’T OPEN… WON’T LET ME IN
MY HEART OF STONE IS  COLD BUT NOT WITH SIN


THERE IS A STAIRWAY RISING TO THE SKY
I HAVE WALKED IT MANY TIMES
EACH TIME I CLIMB TO THE TOP I BEGIN TO CRY
FOR THE GATE WON’T OPEN…WON’T LET ME IN

PLEASE GOD LET ME IN… GIVE ME ONE MORE TIME
AFTER ALL THE STAIRS I HAVE CLIMBED
LET ME HAVE JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES
WITH THE CHILD YOU GAVE  AS A GIFT
THEN TOOK AWAY AND LEFT SUCH A RIFT

THERE IS A STAIRWAY RISING TO THE SKY
I HAVE WALKED IT MANY TIMES
EACH TIME I CLIMB TO THE TOP I BEGIN TO CRY

 

******
FIRE HAD RAVAGED MILE AFTER MILE
ACRES OF LAND BLACKENED LIKE TAR
ANIMAL LIFE (IF ANY) MOVED AWAY
KNOWING COULD NO LONGER STAY

THE HAWK SAT PERCHED UPON HIS LIMB
SPANNED WINGS SPREAD LOOKING GRIM
BLACKENED LIKE THE SHADE OF NIGHT
APPROACHING GAVE QUITE A FRIGHT

HE IS DEAD WE EXCLAIM AS WE LOOK

LIKE THE ONE IN “THE  RAVEN” BOOK?

AH NO SWEET LENORE
TIS FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH
“FOREVER MORE” 

 

** EDGAR ALLEN POE**

GOAT
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A FAINTING GOAT?
OH MY   WHAT A SIGHT
MY LAUGH STUCK IN MY THROAT
IT TRULY GAVE ME A BIG FRIGHT
TO SEE HIM JUST FALL THAT WAY

HE CLIMBS HILLS AND ROCKS
TO EAT A CAN OR BOX
THEN FALLS OFF AND LOSES HIS SOCKS
YES HE WEARS SOCKS
PURPLE PENGUINS ON GREEN

NOW I DON’T WANT TO BE MEAN
BUT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG
WITH A GOAT THAT FAINTS THAT WAY


I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW IT IS
I WATCH TO FIGURE HOW IT IS DONE
I HAVE WATCHED TIMES A TON
I LAUGH SO HARD I CAN SPEW AND FIZZ

I TRIED TO GIVE HIM SMELLING SALTS
HE JUST ACCEPTED AS IF A GIFT 
ATE IT RIGHT OUT OF MY HAND
I TRIED A WATER BUCKET TO BRING HIM ROUND 
HE JUST LAID THERE ON THE GROUND
SO I YELLED AND STOMPED MY FOOT 
HE JUST FAINTED ON TOP MY BOOT

I SHALL NEVER UNDERSTAND
THE FAINTING GOAT I DO SEE
MAYBE I WILL LOOK FOR SOMETHING
INTERESTING IN A TREE….. 

FRIGHT

WAKING EARLY  THEY WERE EXCITED
THE SPIRIT FROM WITHIN LIGHTED
THE DAY THE DEMONS COMPETE
FOR SOULS TO STEAL AND  DEPLETE

THE FOREST  CIRCLE AT THE READY
POTS AND POTIONS  TO MAKE HEADY
CLOUDS ABOVE BLACK AND GRAY
AH THE CROWS  ON THEIR WAY

THE DANCE BEGINS TREES SWAY
FOR THIS IS A CELEBRATION DAY
A DAY OF POWER SHOWN AT LAST
SOULS GATHERED VERY FAST 

 

SPIRITS CIRCLE , DEMONS MINGLE
WAITING FOR THE BELL TO RING ~LE
HEAR THEIR SLURPING ,HEAVY BREATHING
ANXIOUSLY WAITING CHEWING ,TEETHING 

THIRTEEN SOULS  TO PARTAKE
POTIONS FOR TO MAKE THEM SHAKE
 GHOULS AND SPIRITS GATHER
MALE OR FEMALE DOES NOT MATTER 

FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH A DAY OF HARVEST
OF BELEAGURED SOULS TO THE DARKEST 
FIRE AND BRIMSTONE NOT TO PREACH
BUT FOR DEMONS TO GRAB AND REACH

  

WEEPING WILLOW WEEPS

OVERHEAD THERE IS A FULL MOON
STARS SHOOT ACROSS THE SKY
CICADAS SING THEIR SONG  

SCENT OF PINE FILLS THE AIR
ASPEN OAK AND MAPLE LEAVES
SING IN THE WIND
MOONS FULL REFLECTION ON THE WATER
BASS AND TROUT FLASH SILVER
WATER DROPLETS WITH EACH JUMP

WEEPING WILLOW WEEPS
FOR ME
I AM MISSING YOU

 

ANIMAL QUACKERS

Looking thru the looking-glass and what did I see ?

A path to a wonderful magical  mystery

I took a dip the water felt fine
through that glass I did climb

coming out the other side
found  on a downhill slide
so slip and slide and tumble I did

came to a stop with a hat like a lid
there were giggles and belly laughter too
for I was in a magical zoo

there were fairies of every size and color
and orange elephants too
orangutans of Chartreuse oooooo
lightning bugs of every hue

Lions with stripes of red and purple
a meerkat with a head of furple
butterflies of polka dots
stripes and checks even one that ask “wot? wot?” 

a hippotamaus  most color of gray
but the pink tutu was beginning to fray
his red Nike sneakers  looked rather mellow
with his ears of mellow yellow 


the zebra had no stripes, only a bunch of gripes
as a fairy braided his tail of green and played a cello
a kiwi colored bird came by an odd-looking fellow
he tried to whistle through a thistle

The apes of course were colors of grape
except the one with the peppermint nape
now I wondered aloud how can that be
when a fairy of pink gave me a wink
stick around you’ll see just go to the sink

She spun me round and round
without touching me  til I lost
my hat of a lid and went through
a tunnel on a skid.

there were sights I couldn’t believe
my eyes were beginning to deceive
for there stood Mother Nature in her green
“Welcome to the magical land of mystery,
where your imagination is as tall as the trees”

 

WHAT COLOR IS LOVE ?

BLUSHING PINK IS THE COLOR OF PUPPY LOVE AND THE  RED CREEPING UP THE EARS AND CHEEKS WITH TUCKED HEADS AND DOWN CAST EYES.
SUNFLOWER YELLOW FOR THE SUNSHINE GLOW WHEN YOU SEE EACH OTHER
JALEPENO GREEN FOR THE JEALOUSY THAT COMES WITH THE IMMATURE
PURPLE HAZE AS LOVE GROWS AND FAMILIARITY SETS IN
R & B BLUES WHEN LOVE GOES SO WRONG AND BREAK ~UP OCCURS
MATURITY COMES WITH COLLEGE COLORS, BEING PINNED….TAKE YOUR CHOICE OF COLOR
ROMAN CANDLES WITH EVERY COLOR IN THE RAINBOW FOR THE PASSIONS FLARE
WHITE FOR THE PURITY, SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE, STARS  AND CLOUDS IN THE SKY AND MIND
ANGER RED FOR FIGHTS OVER MONEY SPENT, TIME NOT TOGETHER
BLUE OR PINK FOR NURSERY WHAT SAY YOU COLOR OF JOY?
GREEN FOR DOCTORS BILLS, SCHOOL, CLOTHING, FOOD, COLLEGE FUND AND ON AND ON AND ON AND…..NEVER ENOUGH
SILVER FOR CELEBRATING A FEW YEARS TOGETHER
GOLD FOR A MAJOR CELEBRATION OF FIFTY
SEVENTY~FIVE DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIEND!
BLACK VEIL, DRESS, HEARST
GOLDEN WALNUT/OAK CARRIED AND PLACED SIX FEET UNDER.
BLUE GRAY FOR GRIEF
RED FOR ANGER
BLUE FOR LONELY

COLORS OF LOVE ?  AS LONG AS YOU HAVE LOVE THE COLOR DOESN’T MATTER, WHAT LIES IN THE HEARTS OF TWO PEOPLE , THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. 

INSANITY

THE ILLNESS CREEPS INTO YOUR MIND
HISSING ITS BLACKENED TARRY VOICES
MAKING YOU BELIEVE UNTRUTHS
WHISPERING DIRECTIONS ON YOUR PATH
TO WIND YOU  ROUND IN CIRCLES
SPINNING  SPIRALING TWISTING
FOREVER DOWNWARD MORE ‘N MORE
LOSING YOUR SANITY WITH EACH CIRCLE
WILL YOU EVER COME BACK
WILL YOU EVER COME HOME
TO THOSE THAT LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU

JUNK

I have a drawer, a closet and a room full of junk
I have mine in all three and now I am in a funk
As I sift and shift those thread` bare towels
From this box to that stack
Will I ever sew them back to back  ?

Those curtains I meant to hem for a friend
She moved away five years ago, no longer a trend
There are bits of pencils, dried up pens and paper clips
A brand new pair of shoes I forgot to return, narrow in the tip

Hubby’s tools, hmm how did I get that  hammer..nice
screwdrivers too, but what do I want with a pick for ice ?

Wallet sized school pictures, worn out purses
Girls Halloween costumes…three nurses
Baking dishes in a box not quite clean
Looking at that will keep me very  lean

Now this is a treasure old 45’s a hole in the center
These were around long before American  Idol Winners

I am in a terrible funk looking at all this junk
Ahhh to heck with it  dump it  all back in the trunk!

IF…

if I were a poet , I would write flowery words of love to you
were I a sculpter, I would form your likeness of clay
I would gaze upon your beauty and create my view
with brush and paint on canvas, I would bleed my heart til blue
music maker I would be, with songs in my soul proclaiming you,
dancer I would be, stepping through the heavens for love
I am but a simple being, needing to share my life with you.

copyright 2013 LMWC, myownheart.me

FIELD HAND

All had left the field gone back to the bunk house
he had opted to stay and take a dip in the lake
over in the next section. Now  cooled off he
could drive the tractor back grab some chow and a
bedroll, just to start again on the morrow.
Passing under an apple tree he reached up to grab one
realizing he didn’t have his knife to peel it he turned the
tractor back toward the lake.
He noticed the silence first and then the darkness that
suddenly covered all, then just as sudden as the dark came
the moon, a full moon at that appeared.

looking at the man in the moon
a mist began to form
clouds he supposed… too soon
an apparition not the norm
began to swirl about his head
aroma of jasmine and monkshood
lavender with lilac and ginger
the feeling of dizziness and spinning
ever faster, she was the most beautiful
woman he had ever seen or felt, her
hands , legs, and body wrapped him
in a cocoon then exploded him like a beautiful
chrysalis
man in the moon looking at me
as mist began to fade, the sun 
was rising in the east , the night had gone
jasmine and ginger still
lingered tho’ he had no more memory than
that written
his body felt sated , relaxed. What took place
he shook his head to clear it to no avail. 

The crew came by truck, jumping off three to a row
picking the tomatoes
as he drove by each, they waved or saluted some
even a sly smile as if they knew more than he of
the night before. A few even commented on his new
scent.  None could feel what he felt he knew.

HUNGER

if I could hold you, if you could hold me
would the loneliness disappear
my arms ache , my body hungers
for the touch only you can give
all alone  and lonely, longing, loving
you and only you
arms empty, yearning heart ~ soul
sadness washes over me
hunger for your touch
lonely, alone…… yet again

 

TIRED OF THE GRAVEL PATH

BEEN WALKING ALL THESE YEARS
BATTERED, BLISTERED, BRUISED, BURNING,
TIME TO HEAL ALL WOUNDS
ASK FORGIVENESS, UNDERSTANDING, ACCEPTANCE
WHAT WAS WHAT IS AND MOVE ON

LET ME SIT AND REST MY BRUISED FEET
I WILL TELL YOU OF MY MANY JOURNEYS
THE MANY FALLS UPON THE GRAVEL PATH

PULLED UP BY NEED TO SURVIVE
LET ME SAY THE JOURNEY NOT NEAR AN END
SIT WITH ME AWHILE I’LL TELL OF MY WALK
THEN MY TIME WILL BE DONE AND MY LAST PATH

WILL  BE THROUGH HEAVEN’S GATE

SUMMER LOVE

THE HEAT OF THE DAY  HAS ME STRIPPING OFF
TAKING  ANOTHER COOL SHOWER
YOU ENTER THE ROOM INTO CLOUD OF POWDER

STROKING TO STOP FROM DRESSING
LOSING THOUGHT OF DAYS TEMPERATURE
HEAT OF BODIES EXPLODES TO A LOVING SPIRE
STROKING MY BODY … INTERNAL HEAT RISES
BODIES DROPPING ONTO BED , MOISTURE FROM
OUR BODIES MAKING US SLICK AND SALTY
LICKING AS IF TO DRY YOU IGNITES AGAIN
TO SOAR AS HIGH AS THE SUN
FALLING BACK TO EARTH 

BASKING IN THE AFTER~GLOW
SHOWERING NOW RATHER LANGUID AND SLOW

A FREE WOMAN

 A GOOD WOMAN, WIFE, MOTHER
KEEPING MIND CLEAR TO AVOID
EMOTIONS.

EMOTIONS THAT WOULD UNLOCK
THE STEEL DOOR OF HER HEART
LOCKED AFTER YEARS OF VERBAL
ABUSE AND TIRADES OF “I HATE YOUS”

FROM HER CHILDREN AND HUSBAND

SHE HAD TRIED HER BEST
IT WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH
THEY INTERPRETED AS CRITICISM
THE ONLY WAY SHE KNEW

NOW THEY WERE GONE, SHE SITS ALONE
WITH A STEEL DOOR ON HER HEART
SHE CAN NOT FIND THE KEY 

DOES THIS MEAN SHE IS FINALLY FREE?

RUNAWAY
Huddling in the doorway cold, hungry, hurting
that last john did a job on her, really bad dude
no where to go, no one to help.
Thought leaving home would end sexual abuse
didn’t know then how she would have to live or
what she would have to do to live.
Oh why hadn’t momma believed her and helped her?
glad she had lost that perverts baby, but she had not
felt right since.
“Hey, hey you can’t sleep here” the cop beating his
night stick against the building.
Looking up in fear and pain, the cop gasped at the
look of her face
he immediately called for emt’s this girl needed help
desperately
She was so sick she couldn’t protest any longer
Malnourished, severe infections, so infected she would
have to have a hysterectomy……at the age of fifteen
If she didn’t she would not live.
assigned a case worker he went in front of a judge to
get permission for her to have the surgery, her mother
had denied even having a daughter even after being
told how sick she was.
two weeks later she was placed in foster care, the Mrs.
was sympathetic but she knew that look in the eye of
the Mr.
She was cold but not sick, curled up in that doorway
waiting for the next John one more she could rent a
warm room for the night.

OL’ SOL IS SHOWING HIMSELF TODAY
SKY IS SO BRIGHT AND SHIMMERY
CLOUDS HAVE HIDDEN AWAY
OL’ SOL  SHINES WITH OUT TEMERITY

BURNING AND SCORCHING ALL
IN HIS SIGHT
DORMANT GRASS AND BURNT FLOWERS
JUST NOT RIGHT

OL’ SOL DRYING FLOWERS AND GARDEN
BLUSHING RED TOMATOES NOW BROWN

GUESS I WILL BUY MORE IN TOWN

CONTEMPLATION

rising from the sand from watching the sunset
gathering up old photos ..days long gone
wondering what if, as so many other times
funny how quick they told her about him
coming home 

leaving the bottle behind not as litter
just a reminder should he walk this way
see if he remembers the last one left
loved him all my life  now he is free
is he going to look for me? 

 

CHEATER

your lies and betrayal
when you cheat, the
I love only you, this is just
a little fun
breaks my heart in two
please don’t cheat

take your walk on the wild  side
flirt if you feel better
dance with many to the beat
feel the heat but  please
please don’t cheat

one more chance for you to dance
when you cheat I know you will
take a walk on the wild side
betray me and lie
it will be your last
for you shall die
please don’t cheat

LOOKING

dried tears flashing blue eyes
green satin dress for jealousy
lipstick’ fury red’ for my anger
prada on my feet for dancing
diamonds in my ears to tease
going out find one to please

SLEEPY TIME
snuggle snuggle under covers of pink

squirm and giggle and shrieekk
all favorite babies tucked in and around
 Daddy starts to speak
Once Upon a time…

Jump’n’ bounce
crack the head on the bed
jump down and run
so much fun
then momma says time for bed
tucks his pillow behind his head.
Momma and Daddy call out “ready”
we began to pray

“Heavenly Father thank you for this day…..”

AMTRAK SUNDAY

standing at the station watching the trains come in
 every Sunday she stands waiting, the three o’clock
watching passengers disembark, stretching to not
miss the one she is waiting for.
the longer she waits the fewer passengers
soon the steps are pushed back , engines come to life
screeching of brakes can’t mask the screams in her
heart and soul as she stands and cries out her daughters name
after a time a young man walks up puts his arms around her
shoulders and says” it’s time grammie, she went to heaven
yesterday remember?”
the bent gray haired wrinkled ol’ woman looks up seeing the little boy rather than the man
“your momma’s in heaven?”  he nods tears stopping his voice from speaking

he doesn’t know how much longer he can do this each Sunday.
sometimes he wishes gram would go on to heaven and be with
momma but he can’t bear being without both of his mothers
holding her arm helping her into the car, knowing
next Sunday he will come for her again when she wanders off. 

 

 

MOTHER NATURE

PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT: Mother Nature we all know it does not make you happy to be 3rd in line for running the world after God and His son Jesus, but we are begging you to please quit taking it out on we mere mortals ! Lawd knows every woman over the age of 35 knows of hot flashes, but mother you are not flashing you are on full blast and we can’t keep up. 
I am not sure you realize what the consequences of your being turned on this way is, the earth is so dry and hot it is cracking, flowers, shrubs, trees and grass are drying up and dying. animals are dying for being left out in this heat, people as well are actually dying due to lack of cool air, electric bills are sky-high and people are having tough time paying. There is more but the thought of that ridiculously high electric bill is making me ill. 
If you could go to the doctor and get something to help with the flashes, if you need a ride or just want someone to go with I am available for you. We the humans here on earth could do with you and the rains in Florida changing places for a day or two. We appreciate you and thank you!

DOORS

 each step across the threshold
every step across each mile
the rapping, knocking, ringing
of every door opened or closed
the doors of life
what choices made
when we choose to

knock and enter in
or pass it by  

JAGUAR

SHE WATCHED HER PREY FROM A LARGE ROCK
SO HUNGRY, MONKEY  THE FAVORITE  STOCK
LEAPING WITH GRACE OF A DANCER
CRUSHING  BITE LIKE A LANCER
HANDLING THE BRAIN LIKE FINE CAVIAR
NOT TRAVELING TOO AFAR

THREE KITS AWAIT IN THE DEN
CRYING WHEN THEY SENSE  KIN
GIVING SUSTENANCE TO GROW
SATISFIED THEY SNUGGLE IN A ROW

BEACH

Never having seen the ocean until life
Threw her into bold motion
Never having seen the ocean until life
as she knew it changed
Making a bold move …beach
within walking the warm sand

Edge of water~ sand thick like clay
Oozed between her manicured toes
Collecting shells, the art she sold
Boardwalk tourist trade

Never having seen the ocean until life
as she knew it changed
She now knew how happy
alone and free  could be.

Never having seen the ocean until life
as she knew it changed

She dances at sunrise and sunset
or both should she wish
whirling and twirling  a
sand spewing step
Hip swiveling belly dancer
Ballerina tu~tued in organza

Never having seen the ocean
Her heart beats to it’s motion
She is free, unencumbered
Now that life as she knew it

Never having seen the ocean
Her heart beats to it’s motion
She is free, unencumbered
Now that life as she knew it

BUTTONS AND MEMORIES

As a small child my grammie at close to her fifties did not hesitate to take in her oldest sons children one daughter and two sons. she was a true task master believing the “idle hands are the devils tools” so she kept us busy but the boys not so much. me I  worked from sun up to past sun down and seemed the older I got the worse she was about keeping me busy ahh but I took off there for a minute.
now I am older, wiser and less tolerant  of laziness, lack of common sense and have no concept of a 40 hour week young people. In that vein with oldest daughter  if I had nothing else for her to do, in keeping the idle hands busy I had her string buttons. My gram had several jars of buttons collected over the years and when we complained as children do “I’m bored”  out came the button jars and the thick quilting thread and needles for the larger heavier buttons thread of regular everyday quality for the others. We would sit in her sewing room if she needed to keep her eagle eye on us or we could sit on the porch and thread buttons …all the blues together, all the colors should have their own thread white or beige, and on and on. Hope there were enough buttons to last many a life time, for if buttons didn’t keep our attention there was always silver to polish or baseboards to wash.

 in memory of my gram, loved and missed so very much, my gram but my mom as well.

RIP Catherine Marie Williams  March 24, 1905~ March 30th 2005 she lived a wonderful life on her own in her own home until the day she transitioned, She was 100 years and 6 days.

SHE WEEPS

BELIEVED TO BE STRONG AND STOIC

SHE WEEPS BEHIND A CLOSED DOOR

OTHERS ONLY SEE THE WOMAN THEY

 WANT TO SEE ~~

NO ONE SEES  THE BURDENS SHE
CARRIES ~~~ WEEPS FOR

PARENTS WAIT

SCATTERED LIKE DANDELION SEEDS

BLOWN BY A TODDLER WITH A GIGGLE

BORN OF ONE BLOOD ~  SOON GONE 

OBLIGATORY VISITS ON OCCASSIONS

JUST  ENOUGH TO SAY HELLO

MUST RUN ~  PLANS WITH OTHERS

MORE IMPORTANT

WAITING ON CALLS THAT NEVER COME


RESENTMENT AND HURT 

MOUNTAIN HIGH

SELF ~ WORTH  SELF ~  GUILT

SELF ~ LOATHING  SELF~ BLAME

OCEAN DEEP

FORGIVENESS  OF SELF  

ONLY AT DEATH

HOME GARDENERS

The neighborhood frenzy 

across the street and over the fences

conversations revolve around fertilize

or not, soil treatment and cut worms

what to do what to do

sprays or soaps or leave it alone

all the frenzy and madness

all for the ruby red globe of fruit

some call a vegetable.

It is eaten green, yellow and red

fried, stewed, boiled and fresh

canned and creamed

We eat them and drink them 

with abandon,  for all the 

importance we place on tomatoes

Perhaps this was the forbidden

fruit in the Garden of Eden.

PICTURE FRAME

A  5X7 PICTURE FRAME SITS ON THE DESK 

TO REMIND OF TIME PAST

ELEVEN PEOPLE GATHERED 

 ONE DYING , MORE THAN TWENTY

COULD NOT  ATTEND

 TELL A LIE TO THE ONE WHEN SHE ASKS,

 YES MA’ THEY ARE HERE OR SOON

KNOWING SHE WILL ASK AGAIN

WON’T REMEMBER AND WILL ASK AGAIN

NOW ALL THAT IS LEFT.. THAT OLD 5 X 7

OF ELEVEN, ONLY NINE REMAIN

MEMORY LINGERS OF THAT DAY

WHEN THEY CARRIED MOMMA’S SHELL AWAY

SO FRAGILE AND FRAIL IN MIND AND BODY

BARELY A BUMP ON THE UNDERTAKERS CART

LINED UP LIKE SOLDIERS , WE WATCHED AS

THEY WHEELED HER AWAY , KNOWING WE

WOULD NEVER FORGET THIS DAY.

A 5 X 7 PICTURE FRAME SITS ON THE DESK

TO REMIND OF TIME PAST

THE CUTTER

“I WILL NOT” SHE PROCLAIMED TOWARDS HER MOTHER  RUNNING UPSTAIRS

SLAMMING THE DOOR SO HARD PICTURES IN HER ROOM FELL OFF THE WALL

MOM PICKED THEM OUT NEVER LIKED THEM, FLIPPING ON THE CD PLAYER

AND TURNING IT UP TO DROWN OUT THAT BITCHES VOICE.

GOING INTO HER CLOSET SHE REACHES UP ON THE TALLEST SHELF PULLING DOWN 

HER TOOLS. 

GOING TO THE MIDDLE OF HER BED SHE PLACES THE TOWEL ACROSS HER LAP

OPENING THE BOX WITH THE KEY SHE WORE AROUND HER NECK  SHE LOOKED 

AT HER TOOLS A RAZOR KNIFE, A RAZOR BLADE, A PIECE OF GLASS, ONE OF 

MIRROR,  SHE IS SALVATATING AND ANGRY !

PICKING UP THE PIECE OF MIRROR SHE ROLLS UP HER SLEEVE TILL HER  UNDER~

ARM IS EXPOSED, SHE CUTS ONCE, TWICE, THREE TIMES  THE BLOOD RUNNING

SHE FALLS BACK IN NEAR ECTASY, FEELING  EUPHORIC.

JOURNEY

SO MANY JOURNEYS, SO MANY PATHS

EMPTINESS IN MANY SOULS,  BREAKS

IN HEARTS UNTOLD, SORROW AND WRATH

LIFE GONE, TRANSITIONING FROM THIS JOURNEY

TO ANOTHER PATH, ONE FILLED WITH GLORY

FREEDOM FROM THE BURDENS THEY HAVE CARRIED

TRAVELING NOW WITH  THE GREATER THAN THOU

NO AGONY, NO PAIN,  ONLY LOVE,PEACE AND JOY

 

MIRROR

IRROR STARING BACK

ONLY UGLY SEEN

OBESE, WRINKLED, FLABBY

KNOWING WHAT TO DO

TOO TIRED TO DO SO

MIRROR STARING BACK

ONLY UGLY SEEN

SAGGY SKIN AND BREAST

WAIST AS BIG AS A MANS CHEST

KNOWING WHAT TO DO

TOO AFRAID TO TAKE THE STEP

MIRROR STARING BACK

IN THOUSANDS OF PIECES

RED YOYO

Bought a red yo-yo

saved a long time

began to learn ufo

walk the dog  n

cat n the cradle

could even do the ladle

my brother wanted my yo~yo and cried

kept under pillow …safe~keeping

while I was sleeping

it disappeared   knew

very clear….where…

brother had my red yo~yo and wouldn’t give it back

went to the store  bought enough and filled a sack!

NIGHT SKY

LOOKING AT THE DARK SKY
CLOUDS UNSEEN  THIS EBONY NIGHT
SPARKLING STARS AS FAR AS THE
EYE CAN SEE
KNOW YOUR WATCHING
 OVER ME 

SUMMER FARM VISIT

COWS WANT THE HAY AND CORN
CHICKENS WANT TO SCRATCH
GOATS ARE BUTTING WITH THEIR HORN
SHEEP FOLLOW BEHIND IN A BATCH
HORSES STAND AND NEIGH
HAVE THEY LOST THEIR WAY?
OPENING THE GATES TO THEIR HOMES
FOLLOWING AS THEY ROAM
JUST TO SEE WHERE THEY WILL GO
NOW I KNOW AND I DON’T CARE
MY BOTTOM IS SORE, NOT FAIR
GOING HOME EARLY BY AIR NOT BUS.

ROSE

SUMMER ROSES OF MANY COLORS
SYMBOLISM KNOWN
GAVE A SINGLE YELLOW
SHE WISHED FOR LOVE
HE GAVE HER FRIENDSHIP
SMALL BUNCH OF PINKS
KNOWING WHAT HE THINKS
SWEET THOUGHTS AND THANK YOU
 RED RED ROSE
A SINGLE BUD
SMELLS SO SWEET
AS HE PROCLAIMS HIS
  LOVE 

THE BUTTERFLY

Her gossamer wings flutter gently

Soaring to the garden incidentally

Flowers producing nectar of life 

The beauty of her dance begins

As she circles into Loosestrife

Roses, mums and snapdragons

Flitting from the nectar of one

Partaking of natures bounty

To sip from another not counting

Wings flutter in synchronized joy

 

CARMEN…NOT

Carmen’s daughter never knew when to stop

for she would go to market all day to shop

placing an acorn squash near the ear

not minding she couldn’t/ wouldn’t  hear

a bunch of grapes dangling at the lobes

placing red red cherries for her lips

romaine lettuce and roses for her hips

ahh tis said she was mad such a pity

with all her shopping  produce a’plenty

was said time and ag’in sure we are she will never be

like her mother Carmen Miranda the legendary beauty

SLEEP

SLEEP COMES IN BITS AND PIECES

THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT IT NEVER LASTS

SLUMP OF THE SHOULDERS

HEAD HUNG LOW, EYES HALF~MAST

TAKE A PILL HOPE IT WORKS FAST… FAST…. FAST

 

 

FRIENDSHIP

I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND IF YOU’LL BE MINE

I PROMISE TO BE THERE EVERY TIME

LET’S PINKY SWEAR

TO ALWAYS SPEAK THE TRUTH

I’LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND

YOU CAN BE MINE

WE CAN TELL OUR SECRETS

MAKE MEMORIES

BE LIKE SISTERS

YOU AND ME

THE CAREGIVER

Lady sat with her head in hands…she didn’t know what to do, he was so sick and refused to go the doctor, he had been losing weight and had no appetite. He would eat only when his sugar got low  and sometimes Lady couldn’t accept the slurred words and how he got mean and angry. 

It is so hard to watch him disintegrate this big strong man that had always protected her from any thing unpleasant or ugly, like cursing, he never allowed it around her although she had overheard him in his workshop with blue smoke coming out of his mouth with all those words. He never let any one drink in the house and of course no drugs were ever on his property. He had waited on her hand and foot gave her whatever she wanted even if it meant giving up something he needed.

Now he is so sour, angry all the time, frustrated and paranoid. He talks to her like she is a dog, no that isn’t right he speaks to the dogs gently.  

She just doesn’t know how much more she can take without help or a break, although a break is really out of the question, he insists on going everywhere she goes. If he is in the garage and she goes to the bathroom he comes in and starts yelling her name. Is he afraid she’s gone or just can’t leave her in peace for five minutes….

Lady has a migraine but must go see why he is calling her now, sometimes he forgets where he is at or what he was doing. He has been lost  a few times but won’t let her take his keys. Lord she needs strength and patience and if you can see your way to give her a little more of each she will be eternally grateful.

TIME

FOR A TIME A FEW SECONDS, MAYBE SECONDS

I WATCHED YOU WALKING TOWARD ME

 I THOUGHT YOU COULD FEEL

ALL THE LOVE BETWEEN OUR HEARTS

FOR A TIME I BELIEVED MY EYES

AND THE PICTURES IN MY MIND

FOR A TIME IN MY MIND

FAILURE

HOW LONG MUST I FEEL THIS WAY

 

EACH TIME WE SPEAK

YOU ACCUSE AND ASSIGN BLAME

JUDGING ME

I CAN NOT FORGIVE MYSELF

FOR EACH TIME I BELIEVE 

I HAVE, YOU COME WITH

YOUR TORRID WORDS

AND TEAR ME APART

AGAIN AND AGAIN

TO REMIND  ME HOW I FAILED

FEELING PEACHY

THE SUN KISSED FRUIT PLUCKED FROM A TREE

WHISPER OF THE SOFTEST FUZZ TO TICKLE THE NOSE

THAT FIRST WET BITE CRUNCHING THROUGH TENDER SKIN

NECTAR OF THE GODS RUNNING DOWN THE CHIN

ESSENCE OF PEACH SURROUNDING AND WAFTING IN

THE AIR ALL AROUND

CHAMPION

QUARTER MILE LEFT STROKE STROKE STROKE

THE SMALL MOTOR BOAT PUTT PUTT PUTTING

NOT FAR BEHIND HER GOING FOR BROKE

QUARTER MILE MORE SHE WOULD HAVE IT

SHE WAS GAINING  WITH EACH STROKE BIT BY BIT

STROKE STROKE BREATHE STROKE  STROKE

BUILDING STAMINA, FILLING LUNGS, BUILDING MASS 

AND SPEED

SHE HAD WON THE BRONZE IN THE YEAR 2004

THIS TIME SHE KNEW WHEN SHE CLOSED THE DOOR

SHE WOULD HAVE AROUND HER NECK THE GOLD

STROKE STROKE STROKE BREATHE STROKE STROKE

 

A ROCK

HEART IS HEAVY LIKE A  HUGE ROCK

NEED TO EMPTY IT I SUPPOSE

FOR IN  TRYING TO WRITE PROSE

MY HEART AND MIND GET A BLOCK

I AM RHYMING WOW WHAT A SHOCK!

SILENT

HER MIND IS QUIET TODAY,

HER SPIRIT CALM

SILENT AFTER PRAYER.

TEARS CRIED AGAIN, DRIED NOW

HER NORM NO LONGER NORMAL

A WHOLE HEART NO MORE, SILENT

ALWAYS GRIEVING HER BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER

WASTED LIFE

SUNLIGHT WASHED OVER THE SILL OF THE OPEN WINDOW

SHINING ON THE WOOD COUNTER~TOP WASHED TO A PALE GREY.

SHE PULLED FLOUR, SUGAR AND OTHER INGREDIENTS ONTO THE

COUNTER  REACHING ABOVE HER HEAD SHE PULLED DOWN HER

FAVORITE MIXING BOWL. 

 

PEELING APPLES SPRINKLING WITH BROWN SUGAR, HUMMING

“AMAZING GRACE”  PATTING SQUARES OF BUTTER ON THE APPLES 

SHE INHALED DEEPLY THE CINNAMON, BROWN SUGAR AND ALLSPICE

OH WHAT A FINE TREAT FOR HERSELF SHE THOUGHT

CLEANING THE COUNTER~TOP AND FLOOR WHERE SHE SPILT THE FLOUR

BELTING OUT “AMAZING GRACE HOW SWEET THE SOUND” 

THEN LAUGHING MANICALLY AS IF THE HYMN WAS A FUNNY STORY

HER LAUGHTER TURNED TO TEARS, GREAT HEAVING SOBS SHOOK

THE SHOULDERS OF THIS MIDDLE AGE WOMAN, SHE BEGAN TO

SCREAM TO THE EMPTY HOUSE “I HAVE WASTED MY LIFE”

**** AMAZING GRACE; WRITTEN BY JOHN NEWTON

THE READER

NOT ONE TO TAKE IN CATS OR DOGS

NO TANK OF FISH OR FROGS.

COCOONING IN HER APARTMENT

SOLITARY IN HER ABSENTMENT

ESCAPING INTO FAR AWAY COUNTRIES

TAKING LOVERS OF RICHES AND MYSTERIES

LANGUAGES,  BELIEFS AND CULTURES

DEVOURED DAILY  PAGE AFTER CHAPTER

LEAVE HER ALONE THIS IS HER RAPTURE

MAX

HE WAS HALFWAY THROUGH THE BUCKET LIST HE MADE A YEAR AFTER HIS WIFE PASSED

WISHING HE HAD BETTY WITH HIM WHEN HE DID THINGS LIKE THE VISIT TO IRELAND

OR THE ARCHAEOLOGICAL DIG IN EGYPT, THE VISIT TO ITALY

 ALL THE THINGS THEY DREAMED OF DOING AFTER THE KIDS WERE GROWN AND GONE

ONLY THEY NEVER HAD KIDS. IT HAD BEEN JUST THE TWO OF THEM FOR  THIRTY~FOUR YEARS

NOW THE LIST CONSISTED OF THINGS AND PLACES THEY HAD BEEN OR DONE, OH HE SOBBED

HOW I MISS MY BETTS.

RETURNING HOME FROM TRAVELING CONTINENT TO CONTINENT

ISLAND TO ISLAND, IT JUST WASN’T THE SAME WITHOUT HER BY HIS SIDE

WALKING TO THE BEDROOM HE PLANNED TO SHOWER AND JUST RELAX

NO NEED TO LET ANYONE KNOW HE WAS HOME YET…..

POURING AN IRISH WHISKEY HE BROUGHT THROUGH CUSTOMS

SAT DOWN AT HIS DESK TO

SCAN CORRESPONDENCE AND OF COURSE DUNS THAT ARRIVED THIS MONTH

HE OPENED THE LOCKED DESK DRAWER, THERE WAS THE 

 357  HE KEPT THERE.  PULLING IT  OUT OF THE DRAWER HE  LAID IT

ON THE BLOTTER, OPENING HIS LAPTOP HE BEGAN TO PAY THE PIPER

 

FOR HIS TRAVELS, AMEX MOSTLY BUT A FEW DISCOVER, VISA ETC.

TRANSFERRING TWENTY~FIVE THOUSAND TO AN OFF~SHORE ACCOUNT

WAS THE LAST TRANSACTION. NOW HE SAT AND WAITED ENJOYING HIS WHISKEY

HE HEARD THE GLASS ON THE BACK DOOR BREAK AND THE LOCK TURN

HE SAT CALMLY NOT FLINCHING NOT IN A PANIC,  HE KNEW WHAT WAS COMING

IT WAS WHAT HE HAD JUST PAID FOR……

THE GLOVED HAND REACHED AROUND HIM PICKING UP THE UNREGISTERED

357  HE WHISPERED BETTS I AM ON MY WAY …. THE BULLET WENT DIRECTLY

INTO HIS BRAIN STOPPING LIFE ON EARTH INSTANTLY, THERE WAS A

 SMALL GRIN ON HIS FACE

PROMISES

promises are made to be broken
giving your word is your bond
to gain trust you must keep your word
this then tells others of your character

SUNDAY ADS

GOING OUT OF BUSINESS IS FUN AT THE

SPELLING BEE

FINAL WEEKEND TO LOSE 35 POUNDS

BY 4TH OF JULY, ALL REASONABLE OFFERS

IF IT’S YOUR OFFER SACRIFICE TO BARE WALLS

DONATE A CAR MOM 2 MOM,

JOIN US FOR A HEARING AID DENT SALE

WITH PERFECT MATCH PROMISE

BRING YOUR PASSIONS TO LIFE,

TOES READY FOR FUN~

GUS, CIDER TOMATOES FREE

 MATTRESS OPENING 4 DAYS

ONLY WITH 9 FOOT MODELS MEN IN BLECCH !

BABY CAKES

placing the thin neck strap of the full apron

over her head,  tying in the back an untidy

very loose bow. she reaches into the lower cupboard

pulling out her kitchen tools

pulling the stool over to the upper cabinet she climbs

up wincing with her scrapped knee, gathering one by one

the dry ingredients for her surprise.

she races to the refrigerator for her milk and eggs

and back to a cupboard for some coffee and chocolate

placing all ingredients in a large bowl she mixes with the

big one kept on the countertop

she plugs in her EZ Bake Oven and places the little pans

in to bake. After baking five little cakes she let them cool

on her mothers favorite plate sprinkling chocolate and coffee

on top.

she finished just as daddy pulled in the driveway and honked

the horn  letting her know they were home.  her grandmother

came down the stairs smiling at her whispering “did you finish?”

she nodded her head yes.

they stood together in front of the tall double door entrance

just as they heard footsteps on the porch grandma pulled her

apron over her head …she had orgotten she had it on. then

the door opened and there was her mother and her new baby

sister!   when all had ooh’d and ahhh’d  over emily rose, she

brought in the cake she had made for them. cutting each piece

very carefully and just the right size as grandmother brought coffee

in she noticed the odd expression on her face. passing the cake

slices around  each took a bite and grimaced into a smile eating

every bite of the celebration coffee cake ..coffee grounds and all.

WHAT THE HECK DAY

Taking a shower and the head broke spraying water everywhere but on me.

the ceiling got wet and plaster fell, so cleaning it instead of me

Unpacking boxes I find a roach and freeeeeeaaaaak!

Stop everything call exterminator can’t get here for  a week

a week!!! NO way so off to Dollar store for foggers

Left the house when I had so much to do friend bloggers

Called storage  people to let them know of situation

told me sorry..yes, sorry remark of contrition.

so instead of now cleaning up fog stuff. I am blogging

and hubby and g~son cleaning the fogging!

ANTS

Oh when the ants  oh when the ants come marching in

they make way for my larder 

making my life harder and harder

Oh when the ants come marching in

oh when the ants come marching in

I can’t even count their  number

when the ants come marching in

Cooking has become more of a chore

as I smack them hard and brush to the floor

Chopping for the stir~fry and I spy

A little black or is that brown ant

either way it does not matter

as I watch the onion make him cry

I smack him hard and brush him to the floor

Oh when the ants, oh when the ants

oh when the ants come marching in

I’m gonna show them the way out my door!

POPSICLES

Big bag of multi~colored frozen and flavored ice

Causes such ‘gimmes’ and ‘I wanted that one’s’

Hubby always wants the cherry, one g~son 

 wants the lime, daughter wants grape and I 

have never understood until one day I opened

a yellow Popsicle, Oh MY GOSH, the burst of

rich, icy cold, succulent upon my tongue, I 

quickly ate that yellow Popsicle and grabbed 

another, OH the flavor like having fresh  fruit

on a stick BANANA is now fought over by  no

one as I do the shopping, when I put groceries

away, I just open that bag remove all the Banana

Popsicle’s and place them in the deep freeze where

no one but myself seems to go! 

THEY ARE MINE…. ALL MINE! ! hehehehe

THE LOOK

THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES

WHEN I HOLD YOU

HOPE GIVEN ..A CHANCE

THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES 

WHEN WE DANCE

WHEN WE KISS 

GIVES HOPE

THE ANSWER WILL BE YES!

 

GYPSY LORE

MOMMA WAS BORN WITH A VEIL

A THIN COVERING OF SKIN 

GROWN FROM THE FOREHEAD

GYPSY MIDWIFE REMOVED IT 

WITH SHARP BUCK KNIFE

MOMMA CARRIED A DARK

LINE THERE ALL HER LIFE

MIDWIFE OFFERED TO READ IT 

 PLACING IT IN THE FLUIDS OF BIRTH

SHE BEGAN TO TELL THE STORY 

OF MOMMA’S LIFE TO THE AGE OF

EIGHTEEN WHEN GRAMAMA SHOUTED

FOR HER TO STOP. SHE NO LONGER 

WANTED TO HEAR THE SUFFERING OF THIS 

WOMAN CHILD SHE HAD JUST BIRTHED

THE ART OF READINGS OF TAROT CARDS

TEA LEAVES AND SUCH MANY KNOW

MANY HAVE NEVER LEARNED THE ART

OF READING THE VEIL OR IT’S VERY

SIGNIFICANCE , A WONDERFUL ART

LOST  OR A SECRET WITHIN THE ROMANY 

CULTURE?

GYPSY PREACHER

“REPENT ! REPENT!” SHOUTED THE PREACHER

“BURNING HELL FIRE IS REAL I TELL YOU”

SHOUTING OVER THE MAKESHIFT CHOIR

AND USHERS PASSED THE PLATE.

HE CONTINUED PREACHING AS LONG,

AS LONG AS HE COULD SEE THE PLATES

GOING AROUND; AS IT SLOWED HE BEGAN

PRAISING JESUS AND GIVING THE SIGN FOR WRAPPING IT UP.

THEY HAD BEEN HERE SIX DAYS, TIME TO MOVE ON

BEFORE ANY ONE FIGURED OUT HE WASN’T REALLY

A PREACHER

IT HAD TAKEN SOME CONVINCING TO GET THE

REST OF THE TRIBE TO GO ALONG WITH THIS SCHEME

UNTIL THEY COUNTED THE COIN AFTER THE FIRST WEEK

OF HIS PREACHING YIELDED MORE IN THAT  FIVE NIGHTS

THAN THEY MADE TELLING FORTUNES OR CASTING SPELLS

FOR THE TOWNSPEOPLE.  THEN THEY WERE MORE THAN READY

TO DRESS THE PARTS, TO REMOVE THE SCARFS AND BEADS

THE CARAVAN LOOKED PLAIN BUT ‘CHRISTIAN LIKE AND ONLY

A SELECT  FEW WERE TAKING PART WHILE THE OTHERS CAMPED

MILES AWAY FROM EACH TOWN . ONLY TO VISIT DURING “REVIVAL”

WHILE THE TOWN WAS BUSY TO TAKE THEIR PICK OF WHAT WAS

NEEDED NEVER JUST FOR THE PLEASURE OF TAKING. 

ONLY ONCE HAD SOME FARMER MENTIONED THEIR LIKENESS

TO THE “DIRTY GYPSIES” BUT KING NICO PLAYED IT OFF BY 

SAYING NOT ONLY DID THEY SAVE SOULS AT NIGHT REVIVAL

BUT AT DAY AS WELL AND THE SUN AFFECTED THEM AS WELL AS 

IT DID THE FARMER.

THEY PULLED THERE LITTLE CARAVAN OUT OF TOWN

MOVING TOWARDS THE CAMP OF THE REST OF THE TRIBE

IT WAS TIME TO START FOR HOME BEFORE THE WINTER

BLACK OUT POETRY

What a beautiful day, after the sun came out

everything was so green……

it was beautiful………….

went to the garden….

planting more rocks…

with the rain I get more rocks…..

it is so rewarding

our golden beach

taught dedication and

new beginnings

fried quail over

hot rocks an’ doc wood

break up with me

time out mad mongoose

calamari, crab stuffed

Furious Rosanna and Cecilia

cleared the rocks

I would become

despondent.

*written as blackout poetry

1960’s

The two women met each morning leaning against the back railing as if it

were a fence in a suburban subdivision.

On Mondays they helped with each others laundry, the lines were on a pulley system

pinning your laundry to the top line while pulling the bottom line

towards you, or Tuesdays they set up their ironing boards

on the back porch where it was cool, to iron and gossip about the other women in the building.

Every floor had two apartments side by side so everything

was shared even though a railing divided them. The two neighbors

drank coffee and smoked their cigarettes, hair in rollers, discussing

their children, husbands ,trading recipes and past lives. Each one trying to outdo the other.

Weekends meant putting on a little lipstick, powder and rouge, removing the ever-present curlers covered by a scarf, making up the eyes like Elizabeth Taylor, then going to one or the others apartment, husband and children in tow

to play canasta, or pinochle, eating homemade snacks and drinking coca~cola while

the men drank beer. The older children watched the younger watching television

until it was time to put them to bed, once the older children had completed that task,

they were allowed to sit on the front steps and listen to music, dance on the porches or sidewalks.

The girls with no wish to break the chain their mother’s had woven just wanting a husband and babies of their own, flirted shamelessly some became pregnant and the chain continued. The boys followed in their fathers footsteps working at manual labor with no thought to college or a better life.

This the life in the late 1950’s early 1960’s of those one step above the poverty level.

DANCE

LEAPING INTO LIFE

 

ONE STEP AT A TIME

LEAP AS HIGH AS YOU CAN

THE MUSIC HEARD BY THE EAR

PUTS THE DANCE IN OUR SOUL

FOR LOVE OF THE DANCE

WE LEAP  WITH OUR HEARTS

OUR HEARTS LEAP AT THE DANCE

WE DANCE FOR THE LOVE

WE LOVE THE DANCE

CAMERAS

THERE ARE RED LIGHT CAMERAS EVERYWHERE

DEPARTMENT STORES, SERVICE STATIONS

HIGH SCHOOLS, GIRLS BATHROOMS

ATM’S, BANKS AND  PARKING LOTS

VIDEO MONITORING FOR OUR SAFETY

SO THEY SAY

BIG BROTHER WATCHING

DETERMINING HOW TO GET US OUT OF THE WAY

FOG

The mist engulfed her car, as she felt fear for the first time; traveling alone.

Slowing the car and placing her lights on dim the trees began to take on

strange and ominous shapes, arms reaching out to grab her. The music

became louder the further she drove through the trees lining the road she

drove upon, moss becoming her shroud. Louder and louder the music, the louder

her heart beat became. Frantically she slammed her hand across the clock radio that

made her heart race with fear.

*****

MY LOVE   MY STRENGTH

MY SUN    MY MOON

YOUR VOICE  IN MY EAR

YOUR LOVE IN MY HEART

I AM THE DAY   YOU ARE THE NIGHT

PLUNGING YOUR SPIRIT INTO MINE

MY SOUL EMPTIES TO YOU

GOOD IS GONE

Where has the good gone?

Why has the good gone?

When and how did the good go?

Humans  are rude and inhumane

disrespectful and cruel no matter to animals

children, adults, themselves

Where has the good gone?

Why has the good gone?

Family pets kicked to death, burnt or thrown out on highways

Children, flesh of flesh, beaten, shaken, kicked, molested and thrown in dumpsters.

Young people killing one another over an assumed slight

Driving by each others homes and firing illegal street guns

killing the innocent..a five year old girl lying in her bed

bullet hits her and her family  left to cope with the loss.

Where has the good gone?

Why has the good gone?

When and how did the good go?

Where has the good gone?

Gone,  Gone, Gone to the inner core of the earth

Never to be resurrected until the end

Until the End of Earth

Until The End

POSIES

I have a pocket full of posies

I picked them just today..

Picked them from the city garden

A twenty-dollar fine it earned me.

My posies were deep purple

Color of sunsets hue with

brilliant yellow for the centers

Color of sunrise in the morn

I chose this color for you in

these posies of two

just to say  I love you

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Indistinct conversations, heard not understood

Mumbles, rumbles, whispers too

Voices imaginary or real

Garden snake ~~Paranoia

Rears ugly hissing head

Slithers through tunnels of mind

Coiled, springing forth ~ into~

Tangled, clinging spider web

Catching flies of conversation

Whispers ~~ what did you say?

DISEASE

My weary body begs for sleep

My head filled with pain keeps me awake

If not for you I would never sleep

For your hands upon my back soothe my tired aching muscles

Nerves are so raw with pain

I beg for your touch even though

it hurts so badly, so cruelly

This disease hidden inside my body.

Touch me gently, touch me softly

Soothe the agony with your touch

My special one, my love.

Nerves are so raw with pain

I beg for your touch even though

it hurts so badly, so cruelly

This disease hidden inside my body.

Touch me gently, touch me softly

Soothe the agony with your touch

My special one, my love.

TREE OF LIFE

Growing  tree of life

Pushing through the earth

strong roots forming

as the limbs strain upward

at the sun

Branches protruding

growing strong

In each new birth

Roots even stronger

pushing through the soil

digging deeper ‘n deeper

in support of new life

Leaves offering dappled shade

falling to replenish the earth below

branches breaking in death

Propagating a mate

to grow new branches

new leaves

Each supporting the other

making a life stronger

deeper roots, larger branches

Trees of Life

Life’s Journey

LIBRARIAN

The old gentleman, hunched over as he shuffled through the aisles

stopped to slip off his glasses and pretend to wipe his brow

in actuality he was drying tears of sadness. For as he moved through

this room that was always so silent had an eerie forlorn feel.

It made him so sad to pick up a tome feeling the leather cover,

opening the cracked binding to a random page taking in the sweet

smell of page after page and the fragrance of printers ink. The words,

nouns, verbs, adjectives…puncuation did they even teach this anymore?

Oh the greats were here in the room with him he could feel their spirits,

Shakespeare, T.S. Elliot, Mark Twain, Keats, Browning, Matthew Arnold.

They were all here waiting still but lost; lost to technology to classrooms

and assignments from cyber~space. Students today could barely read

having never learned to appreciate the FEEL of the written word nor

The relaxation of sitting under a sun dappled tree lost in a story that

came from the authors imagination. Becoming so immersed time

stands still in real life and you are transported to far away lands and cultures

ideas and imagery.

Oh the days of old, he taught at this university thirty plus years, English

Literature was his life and now ..now he shuffled among his friends

touching reverently the words from their minds.

Shaking his head he moves through the library with his duster

keeping the old friends clean and once in a while entertaining

the rare visitor to this old relic filled with all the riches of the world

printed on the finest paper to the cheapest, but filled with life’s blood.

Pulling a copy of  “The Sun Also Rises”  his  favorite author Hemingway

from a shelf he lowered himself to a scarred oak table

and carefully opened the book

touching the old cracked pages ever so gently for one final read.

They found him asleep an hour after closing time in that same chair

on page thirty~one holding the page open with a gloved finger.

GYPSY SOUL

My Romanian ancestry gave me a Gypsy’s Soul

English side gave me strength of  steel, cold

Wander~lust satisfied my travels in younger days

Settling for hum~ drum not my ways

Gypsy sights for others, seldom for me

Planted my feet like roots of a tree

Roots bound by love of family

I have a Gypsy’s Soul

With heart love fully

crying for the Gypsy soul in me.

NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP 

MY SOUL BEGINS TO WEEP

I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO KEEP

MY HEART BEGINS TO WEEP

IF I SHOULD DIE BEFORE I WAKE

I SHALL WEEP NO MORE

***“now i lay me down to sleep”

an 1800’s english lullaby with

credit not given to one author.

TREE FIRE

WILLOW SWAYS WITH GRACE

ASPEN LEAVES WHISPERS

EVERGREENS GIVE AROMA

COTTONWOOD FLINGS SEEDSMAN DESTROYS WITH IGNORANCE AND FIRE

NEEDS

How much can I need you

Do I need  you like water or nourishment

How much can you give me

Can you fill my needs for water and food

How much can I need you to love me

Can you love me adequately

Can you be the special one for me

I for you?

with your body wrapped around me all these nights

you have loved me adequately

I have needed you like the air I breathe

I have never felt unloved since day one

when you said to me “You would be so easy

to fall in love with” and I replied “You already have”

Our needs have been met and exceeded .

with God‘s blessing and mercy perhaps we will have

many more years.

HOMECOMING

Reaching out for each other

how could we not

we had been through so much

We built this house into a home

toiled side by side, loved again and again

through crops failing, too much rain

not enough, sick animals and more.

When you found someone new

I wondered how, when, who

did not matter you were gone

taking my heart with you

Now I sit in this

old rocking chair

you placed on the porch

all those years ago

watching for a plume of dust rising from the

dirt road telling me you are coming home.

Rocking and crying, rocking and crying.

Two years have passed, today I placed a

black beribboned wreath on the front door

the letter came from him telling me your fate

I saw the hearse bringing you home by its plume of dust

I walk up the hill with my Sunday suit and the preacher

to lay you to rest

welcoming you home again my love.

WAR

An inner war going on

the duality of my nature forces

upon me, forgiveness, after

the black hatred in my heart

the depths of evil I  can drop into

wanting to harm the ones that hurt mine!

I have had malevolent feelings many times

to the point of standing on the side of the highway

with a rifle and scope pointed at my ex’s front door

patiently waiting… who knows what would have happened if

I had not woken out of that fog of hatred and evil

Depravity I am capable of frightens me

therefore I pray, seeking solace in the other side

of my nature, my love and forgiveness for others

as taught by the word.

The inner war going on

good, bad, intensely disturbs

the natural flow of me.

MUSIC

Melancholy,  Bluesy,  Happy,  Snapping,

Lyrical lyrics  Bass guitar, Drum beating to my heart

Falling in Love,  Breaking up, It’s a party,  Lies and alibis

Walks of life to the beat of music cannot be denied

Wishes and dreams set by the notes

Promises made by lyrics written

Music is in my soul,  My soul is in the music

Music moves my soul  Music moves me

Make me want to sing out loud  Dance the night away

Music travels the path to my soul

Leaving the symphony in my heart

 

PRETENSE

pretend all is well
pretend we have it all
pretend marriage is great
pretend children are perfect
feign, profess, imagine
hide the hurt don’t let anyone know
tis the way of we humans
we cannot change

RAIN COLORS

Falling upon the cobblestone street

washing away the dirt and grime

making rainbows of many hues

purples, green, yellows and blues

moons reflection lost in psychedelic shimmers

OL SOL

Ol Sol began to warm the earth

melting snow making mud

grass turning green

crocus and daffodil peek through

the earth  begins to dry

Sol more powerful

rays pouring forth heat, deep~

roots begin to stir and form

mighty leaves like swords

days of old

higher Sol rises

taller the blade grows

til the heart of the sword appears

ROSES

Roses are blooming in abundance

Sweet heady nectar entices the worker bee

the hummingbird suckles as it fills its need.

Roses are blooming in abundance.

MOTHERS DAY

Beautiful smiles, gleaming eyes

laughter ringing like church bells

shared together as we gather

in celebration of the beautiful

Mothers you have become!

Blessings that enrich

lives of our family everyday

We celebrate you this

Mother’s day!

SPRING

The purple Clematis

jumping out at us

as we walk by.

Pansies winking

with their dark centers

Iris’s standing straight and tall

Peonies mean cemetery time

Daisies popping up yellow centers

Spring has sprung

Rejoice!

LOVE RUSH

Hand to heart
my eyes see you
stomach flutters
like emerging butterflies
the cocoon I have shared with
them until you came into my life.

LOVE DIED

Love died today

carried away

on a wisp

Love died today

buried under the willow tree.

WELCOME

‘Welcome To The Porch’ the sign read

an old metal glider with chipping paint showing

its rainbow of colors right in the middle

a bucket of sand with ash and cigarette butts

stuck in it.

The wood slats had paint worn away where sitting

in the glider and swinging caused your feet to drag

across the old paint.

Just in front was the cutting garden full of

zinnias , bachelor buttons, daisies , statis and more

keeping the hummingbirds and bees busy

its rainbow of colors right in the middle,

a bucket of sand with ash and cigarette butts

stuck in it.

THE FIGHT

The fight just escalates and my mind can not comprehend

what you can not explain, why are we fighting?

This verbal abuse is like your breeding reptiles in your mind

they slither in and out of the vortex touching electrodes of

false memory

sliding into a viper pit of language I never expected to hear

from someone I love so deeply

The venom in which you hiss the vile  gutter words

like belching from the pit of your stomach

Why are we fighting, what started you on this path

so filled with snake venom, coiling around my heart

with cold eyes and squeezing the breath from my body

secreting the milk of your fangs to hurt me more.

LEAVING HOME

Need to get out of this small town,

can feel my life going down

big city where I belong

don’t need a tag a-long

just me and the city lights

City lights not what I expected

this life is all twisted

Never thought I’d want to go back

but here I am following a train track

Never thought I’d be slowing down

as I am now,

as I drag into my town.

DISTURBANCE WITHIN

So depressed just want to cry

Spirit is empty today don’t know why

Hurt emotionally spiritually physically

Empty as a wine bottle on the street

like the garbage piled on the curb

is where I need to be with flies for company

hang the sign ‘do not disturb’

for disturbance is within

the soul the brain the heart

pain never goes away

memories bring it forth

tears can not wash away

STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

Why do you insist on putting words in my mouth

then fighting with me to prove your point

I know what I said and it isn’t for you to

twist to your satisfaction or understanding

Nothing good comes of your ‘misunderstanding’

my words, but your need to create drama.

I refuse to drop to the level of your insecurity and

need to always be in the right

I am older ,wiser and walked many miles to

gain the experience and wisdom I have I refuse

to allow anyone to try and make me insignificant.

MORE DREAMS

I will have more dreams

I will have more cake

I will have more warm wine

I will never have another birthday with you

on yours or mine.

After all the love given between us

After all the years we have had,  someone

took you from me, and me from you

and we will never have that time again.

Oh No, this can’t be.

CRAZY

This crazy mind of mine  has lost it’s way

jumping, flinging, twisting everyday

coherence gone, memory loose,

tis mayhaps the silly goose,

Mother she was to many right?

toss and turn each night

mind is twisting figure eights

can’t remember  last partake

Jesus take the wheel she sang

did my voice also twang

sentiment awry let me cry

let me laugh that guttural sound

mind goes round and round

the wheels on the bus and all that

Jack sprat his wife fat?

oh not proper.. obese

politics must adhere

correct here and there

affiliation shall be

the least corrupt of the three

my mind is playing loosey goosey

warm wine and chocolate cake

someone  left out in the rain

blizzards now with icing at the

dairy queen long may she reign

BOOK COVER

She sat in front of her easel
Sketching page after page
Proof told by the overflowing
Basket next to her and covering 
The floor around her supplies.
Her first BIG book cover and

her mind is blank!

MAGIC IN THE BACKYARD
The title of the young poetess’
First publishing…oh it has to 
Be special!!
My first BIG her first BIG so 
It must be BIG, she thought as
She drew a circle~ just doodles.


Her mother called and as they chatted
She continued to doodle~” Oh my gosh!
Mom I have to go, I’ve got it thank you
You are an inspiration. Love you~ Bye.”

She looked at what she had drawn and
 suddenly 
It was there, The tire swing, the trees,
 the path
Wonderful in it’s simplicity yet representative
 of
The young poetess. 


As she finished her sketch she could see the
Shadows come to life in the glow of  the moon
Sparkle and shine of  the milky way reflecting
 In the snow.


Three days later she received the call from the 
Author herself…”I love it, it is perfect” that was 
all she needed to hear.
Now, now she knew why she chose this career
Or it chose her…

SUMMERTIME

A gentle breeze blowing the leaves
 old tire swing hanging with ease


Milky Way sparkling as fairy dust
An old truck parked and full of rust


The hoot of an old gray owl
A coyote on the prowl


Summertime in the country
Sunday Thanking God humbly


Front porch swinging
Some pickin
Some singin


Ah the good life
Away from all the strife.



LISTENING

She listens to the old music of forty years ago
It helps her in some perverse way
as she remembers the little girl  that
grabbed her hand and made her dance
to the old ballads of those such as 
Patsy Cline, Loretta, Tammy Wynette.
Singing at the top of their lungs or
barely a whisper
Those little hands holding hers so tightly
knowing that was the best and safest place to be


For so long it was just the two of them and 
they grew together  this teenage mom and
her baby of such delight.
The love that came with the birth of this
child hurt in it’s intensity. The purity of
that love never changed nor the intensity.
It was a love so dear and was to go on forever
until someone decided life of the young
woman was of no use and took it from her.


Now the old before her time woman, listens
to the old music of forty years ago and walks
the paths of memories and cries for the loss
of her first born child.

ACID

So long ago you came into my life
stealthily you slipped into my heart
calming the turmoil and strife
little did I know someday we would part
No longer do I see the beauty of your skin
 I feel the silkiness of your hair
see it in my mind blown by the wind
remember too your elegant flair
Fighting came as part breaking our hearts
Making up Making love promising a new start
Little did I know you wanted us to part
No I did not see how you could want to leave me
I begged I cried I promised the moon
You gave it back to me in vitriol how leaving
wouldn’t come too soon
The more I begged the more you hated
watching you throw things in your case
then feeling the ACID upon my face


MUDDY WATERS

Muddy swirling waters

under the Baytown Bridge

Visited by those on the edge

Offering the last deep sleep

Let go of the steel cable

If you think your really able

to take the final step into

oblivion offered by the Baytown Bridge.

TABLE FOR TWO

Table for two, occupied by  one

on the tables edgea menu perused

 a glass of wine  catching

the tears

Discreetly the waiter informs

she has no need to wait

he has confirmed her fears

untouched glass of wine

catching the tears

GRAVEL PATH

Upon this gravel path
I am standing
at the crossroads
of my life’s beginning
Decisions precision
A must.. for death beckons
Standing at the crossroads
Upon this gravel path.

ANGRY

My blood is boiling , my skin is burnt
Breath has become labored and hurt
Brain is foggy for cells are melting
My sunburned lips are welting
because THE GOD professing
LOVE for us has determined
to give us our HELL  and burn
us alive NOW!!!

WORDS OF M AND D

Morning, mourning, morbid, mortal, mounds, murder, murderer, mountains.
words for DEATH, DEAD, DIED
I woke this Morning
In Mourning
Thinking I Am Mortal
The dirt piled at cemeteries Mounds
Murdered by which Murderer
Feel as if climbing Mountains
Trying to get there before your Death
Now your Dead
I couldn’t make it before you Died!

DRY

Thunder lightening  all around
electrical pulses abound
the air sparked with static
no rain to clean the air
dry , dusty like an attic

ALZHEIMERS

Was never warned that when love entered my life
that it would be all consuming thru the good and strife
From the first time I looked at those velvet brown eyes
I took the tumble …falling falling falling into the abyss
of love.
From the first kiss I knew it was going to be pure bliss

holding hands we walk through the years
all this time surprised us both ..laughter and tears
long walks ..long talks.. arguments and fears
Love you still always will….hope it’s the last
thing you forget and please forget my tears.

THE WISH

Composing the music
performing feels like fire
beat to the hiss of hell snake
sax wailing a mournful wake

drums pounding to heartbeat
guitar strums then accelerates
fingers flashing across the chords
sparks flying as strings break

Feet moving skirt swirling
laughter, maniac bright eyes
she lives for this race  only this
dancing her greatest wish.

DON’T KNOCK ON MY DOOR
Don’t knock on my door
Don’t text me
Don’t call me
Don’t send me a card
Don’t bother to act like I’m alive
for any purpose but a twenty dollar bill and a five
Your life is so busy with all you have to do
I’ll just wait till you’ve nothing better to help you thrive
when I’m dead  into ashes scattered about
will you visit me then?
will you take the time on Memorial Day
to visit me as you do family you never knew?
will you wail and beat your chest ,
use my passing as an excuse to not do
something you should?
Will you tell your children about me in a good way
or bad?
Will you know that you were loved by me so much
and your pulling away broke my heart and this is
why I died or will you be too busy to care?

SHELLS FOR MOMMA

Taking a walk along the beach
Many shells within the reach
Must have the perfect one
for Momma always loved the beach
collected the shells for everyone
She hung them on fishing line
for curtains and as a  chime,
flower pots and coffee cups.
Tide coming in, my search near end
there it is, look at the pearlized
pink and flash of silver ..oh it’s perfect
and it’s a big conch shell I realized.
I will plant the Iris right in here
watch it grow knowing Momma is near,
watching from above as both the Iris and me grow.

SHEDDING TEARS
To shed tears..good for the soul
washing the heart of sorrow
for a brief time ..til the morrow
Each day we weep  is one we keep
stored in the mind, memories lined
with pictures of you and I .
Walks on the beach, hikes thru woods
farmers markets, good food
donuts and papers in bed
Showers shared , no part spared.
One day  I woke and you were gone.
to shed tears…good for the soul
washing the heart of sorrow
for a brief time.. til the morrow.

SECRETS

Secrets kept, never told
finding out messages old
family should share
not doing so ..so unfair
trying hard to be Mom
they say they don’t need me I’m just a bomb
call others family, not blood
just people in the hood.
Heart is hurt,
Damn what’s the use? mental abuse

WINGS

content within the soul
happiness in the heart
blessed by the flutter of
wings touching the cheek

LOVE ONE ANOTHER

Coyotes howled along with the wind

Spirit voices carried across the tree tops
some reaching deep into a bend
The voices carried a message true
forgive one another it begins with you
and remember love one another too.

CRUSHED HEART

Yesterday the heart was whole
Life was complete 
Today the heart is crushed
Rolled into a crumbled wad
Tossed to the ground
Gray as ash

HEAT

Flowers droop in languishing despair
shades of ecru to brown like a stroke
by the artists brush

LIFE ELEMENT

Watching the wind blow across the lake

waves breaking wake
distant motors running
laughing , hoops and hollers
all having fun spending hard-earned dollars.
I sit on this jutting rock remembering
how we sat here holding hands
making plans for the future
Kisses shared.. whispers of  ‘I love you’
falling into the lake when you tried to stand
driving home all I could say was glad it was you
and giggling as you shivered and scowled
Slipping into the shower with you ..your look of surprise
catching your breath as I began to lather you with the soap
Your warm hands caressing my breasts.
Satisfying our needs as the warm water washes over
Later  raiding the fridge to satisfy another life element

Then love lost, holding hands no more
just old love memorabilia to remind me
of what we had , where we had been.

Oh the memories I cherish

STATE OF MIND

Happiness comes from state of mind and heart
Not part of country where  you live or with.
Choose to live in a state of chaos
within your mind, home, employment and relationships
that is  choice.
Choice is not made by parents, friends or family
doesn’t matter what your childhood was like good or bad
chose to hate and blame that is choice
All choose emotional state..  choose to be a victim
over and over or to be a survivor.
To survive don’t run..  face up to the challenge
and overcome it.
Events happen  but how we choose to
react…respond determines  survive or drown.
Choose unhappiness and unhappiness is the reward
Choose happiness and happiness becomes.

I WALK

I walk.. I talk.. I breathe
therefore I am
so why do I appear
a non-entity?Words are the eyes
into my soul
where there are no lies.Music makes my heart sing
fingers tap… feet dance
til toe rings fling

Silence soothes the mind
music soothes the beast
words open my soul
God’s love makes me whole

My courage comes from love
My strength comes from faith
My love comes from my children
My children come from my
LOVE , COURAGE, STRENGTH, FAITH.

BROWN PAPER BAG

The old woman pushed her cart through the fence
then slid down to rest against the post
her feet hurt and she needed more cardboard
make her soles dense.

Today was such a good day as good as her days
could go anyway made 6 dollars 31 cents from her cans.
Had a mighty fine hamburger at that fancy place with
the arches..then down to Charlies for a lil nip of dessert

Momma used to say MD 20-20 was rot gut but she never
paid no mind to momma then nor now. She pulls the bottle
up out of the brown paper bag to take a nip ..just to calm herself
you know. She rests a bit watching the people  watching her.
Pulling herself to her feet she places that wrinkled brown paper bag
deep into her pocket, pulls the cart out of the broken fence and
starts down the sidewalk looking for more cans so she can eat tomorrow.

HIS DESIRE

the picture on the bedside table
looks as if she were able
to reach out and touch him
as he wishes she could do.

the days are long the nights are longer
his heart, body and mind cry out
with yearning ..yearning to hear
her voice ..not caring what about
just to hear her, touch her, love her again

the months feel twice as long
each day feels to him so wrong
he shouldn’t have to visit
a memory garden to be with her
Life is going to be so long and lonely
if only …if only..

WORDS

She sat again with heartache..tears….shaking at how
words said could hurt so badly.
Words full of venom from those rosebud lips
bite into her heart again and again
will she ever learn….learn to stop putting her
heart and emotions out there to be stepped on,
kicked, stomped and for good measure spat
untruths from the past.
No she will never stop trying for the words come
from her own blood and breath.
She gave life to this person but knows in her
heart this isn’t really her child. It is the disease
the mental warp that makes the child this way.
Did she contribute genetically.. .maybe either
way  it hurts to be talked to this way
Forgiveness comes because this is her child
but the hurt and the cold spot in her heart is
growing with each lie, profanity, and drop of
spittle. Will she ever understand why and where
this needing to destroy her comes from ?

FIBRO

Fibromyalgia is my name
I want to play a game
I will teach you how to play
first a little fatigue
thats just little league
your nerves will start to jump
muscles tie up into bumps
squeezing and twisting
setting the fire
you will pray for
your funeral pyre
Thinking of a full nights sleep
waking rested will make you weep
for never again sleep that deep
unless of course you medicate
I’ll hurt more if your late
Give me pills of ever color
I’ll take your every dollar
Now I have won this game
Oh wait one more thing
Everyone thinks I’m fake!

OUT OF CONTROL

My world is out of control
‘fake it til I make it’
was my creed
how much longer the need
to pretend..becoming droll
need to scream my anguish
dealing with  hypocrisy of being
becoming who I am / have been /always
not the evil wicked believed to be

My world is out of control

I seek truth in spoken word how it came to be
that others look at me and see
something I can’t find within myself
Searching soul deep the dark I do not
recognize…theorize… or recreate
in my heart .. soul …belief

The world is so out of control
My world is out of control

A Piece of Your Mind Please

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