myownheart.me

We were given hope
That peace would stand
With dignity & respect
We made our choice
But EC denied us
Now we are fighting
For our country
For all the rights
Being taken away
For the Earth
For our children’s future
We will not be silenced
Our voices will be heard

Birther issue Obama born in Kenya
Autism is caused by vaccines
Largest Inauguration crowd
Melania’s Visa papers will be released with press conference
Knows more than the Generals & will take out ISIS
Thousands cheered when Twin Towers were hit~911
Ted Cruz’s Dad killed JFK
Mexico will pay for the wall
Taxes will be released…this lie told multiple times
Investigate and imprison Hillary
He never met Putin, Putin is my friend, No loans with Russia
3 million illegal votes
“I have a good brain”
Most Electoral Votes since Reagan
American made steel for DAPL pipeline
Saved jobs at Ford, Boeing, and Carrier
Bus loads of protesters and their paid
Chinese devised climate change
No Russian involvement in our election
“Locker room talk”
Obama wiretapping, spying
Nobody respects women more than he does
Won’t take Presidental salary…now he does so he can donate it later with big tax deduction.
Bone spurs
122 detainees released by Obama
Everyone will have affordable healthcare
Won’t cut Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security.

How do we teach our young ones not to lie, to always tell the truth?

I am so very tired. I cannot seem to gain strength and rest. When I sleep I wake every couple of hours with tears on my cheeks, dread in my heart and the pit of my stomach. I am lost and I know that only I can find myself and fix whatever is wrong (oh my gosh I sound like that insane president). I have been a whiner, cryer and all around victim since my daughter was killed six years ago.  My husbands health issues, my own issues my grandsons suicide, just so much strife with my daughters and the rest of the family. I am tired. I am an educated woman, I was homeless with my three children at one time working for $25.00 cash daily, living n an old car, we climbed out of that and grew, so why can I not find that strength now? I want so badly to be happy and enthusiastic about life again. I haven’t wanted to write because I knew it would just be my bitch session, my self-pity party but I am also thinking if I do this maybe I can shame myself into pulling myself up by bootstraps an do something. Who knows if it will work but I have to try.

When someone you love dies, and it is not something you expected it is a shock to your whole system. It is not easy to describe to anyone how terrible the pain is in the time afterward how absolute it is, how it is like a cell inside your body a cancerous cell that creeps and slithers and grows threading itself through every inch of your body ripping and shredding you inside.
Grief destroys not just you but the relationships you have with others. You dwell on the relationship you had with the one that died, your mind walks through all the days filled with the events you shared.  The long phone calls, the meals you prepared together, the
laughter and the tears you shared, the holidays and yes even the arguments, you are consumed by the memories. And the relationships you have with others? They disintegrate, not because you don’t share the pain of loss but because you do, each one is shredded inside and the hurt blinds one from the other until they lash out with all that pain and it is released by shouts and hurtful knife slashing words, and they leave you. Then you find yourself alone and crying and hurting feeling that cancerous cell slithering and growing inside consuming your mind, your body, and your soul.
Now you are alone with your memories scared, crying, screaming. The days pass, the nights both short or long depending on where your mind has wandered. During the day you are able to keep busy with your work or watching tv or reading, but one word a look or a glance of someone with the same stature, hair color style or their profile reminds you and that knife rips your gut and heart causing you to fall apart dropping to your knees clutching your chest or stomach trying to hold in the screams.
Time passes then one day without realizing it the emptiness begins to fill up, each day fewer tears fall, the wrenching pain subsides. The days and nights pass, each one counted, wondering how much more must you endure before you join the loved one that left you alone with nothing but the memories and the love, the love that you have for someone that dies.

Every morning I wake up and look in the mirror
put on a mask,
the one that says to the world “here I am all shiny and bright”
Hiding the fact I lie in my bed at night weeping
I close my eyes to rest and pictures of you flash through my mind
If only I knew it was your last day
The pain just won’t go away, it eats at me day and night
Everyone believes I am strong and have dealt with it all
But no one knows…no one knows… the pain

Sunday night my kind hearted, gentle 25-year-old grandson suffering mental anguish over the horrible things that happened in his life most significantly the loss of his mother, my daughter five years ago in Feb. took his own life by stepping in front of a vehicle traveling the Interstate at 70 miles per hour.
We are all so devastated and at a loss right now, in shock and disbelief.
He is now with his momma and at peace …finally, although we here on earth are stumbling like drunks through the days and nights.

A* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the DOJ’s Violence Against Women programs.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the National Endowment for the Arts.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the National Endowment for the Humanities.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Minority Business Development Agency.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Economic Development Administration.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the International Trade Administration.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Manufacturing Extension Partnership.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Community Oriented Policing Services.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Legal Services Corporation.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Civil Rights Division of the DOJ.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Environmental and Natural Resources Division of the DOJ.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Overseas Private Investment Corporation.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Electricity Deliverability and Energy Reliability.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy.
* On January 19th, 2017, DT said that he would cut funding for the Office of Fossil Energy.
* On January 20th, 2017, DT ordered all regulatory powers of all federal agencies frozen.
* On January 20th, 2017, DT ordered the National Parks Service to stop using social media after RTing factual, side by side photos of the crowds for the 2009 and 2017 inaugurations.
* On January 20th, 2017, roughly 230 protestors were arrested in DC and face unprecedented felony riot charges. Among them were legal observers, journalists, and medics.
* On January 20th, 2017, a member of the International Workers of the World was shot in the stomach at an anti-fascist protest in Seattle. He remains in critical condition.
* On January 21st, 2017, DT brought a group of 40 cheerleaders to a meeting with the CIA to cheer for him during a speech that consisted almost entirely of framing himself as the victim of a dishonest press.
* On January 21st, 2017, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer held a press conference largely to attack the press for accurately reporting the size of attendance at the inaugural festivities, saying that the inauguration had the largest audience of any in history, “period.”
* On January 22nd, 2017, White House advisor Kellyann Conway defended Spicer’s lies as “alternative facts” on national television news.
* On January 22nd, 2017, DT appeared to blow a kiss to director James Comey during a meeting with the FBI, and then opened his arms in a gesture of strange, paternal affection, before hugging him with a pat on the back.
* On January 23rd, 2017, DT reinstated the global gag order, which defunds international organizations that even mention abortion as a medical option.
* On January 23rd, 2017, Spicer said that the US will not tolerate China’s expansion onto islands in the South China Sea, essentially threatening war with China.
* On January 23rd, 2017, DT repeated the lie that 3-5 million people voted “illegally” thus costing him the popular vote.
* On January 23rd, 2017, it was announced that the man who shot the anti-fascist protester in Seattle was released without charges, despite turning himself in.
* On January 24th, 2017, Spicer reiterated the lie that 3-5 million people voted “illegally” thus costing DT the popular vote.
* On January 24th, 2017, DT tweeted a picture from his personal Twitter account of a photo he says depicts the crowd at his inauguration and will hang in the White House press room. The photo is curiously dated January 21st, 2017, the day AFTER the inauguration and the day of the Women’s March, the largest inauguration-related protest in history.
* On January 24th, 2017, the EPA was ordered to stop communicating with the public through social media or the press and to freeze all grants and contracts.
* On January 24th, 2017, the USDA was ordered to stop communicating with the public through social media or the press and to stop publishing any papers or research. All communication with the press would also have to be authorized and vetted by the White House.
* On January 24th, 2017, HR7, a bill that would prohibit federal funding not only to abortion service providers but to any insurance coverage, including Medicaid, that provides abortion coverage, went to the floor of the House for a vote.
* On January 24th, 2017, Director of the Department of Health and Human Service nominee Tom Price characterized federal guidelines on transgender equality as “absurd.”
* On January 24th, 2017, DT ordered the resumption of construction on the Dakota Access Pipeline, while the North Dakota state congress considers a bill that would legalize hitting and killing protestors with cars if they are on roadways.
* On January 24th, 2017, it was that discovered police officers had used confiscated cell phones to search the emails and messages of the 230 demonstrators now facing felony riot charges for protesting on January 20th, including lawyers and journalists whose email accounts contain privileged information of clients and sources.
And today: the wall and a Muslim ban.
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