When I was 5 our mother dropped myself & 2 brothers at our grandparents and walked away. My family and close friends know what I have told them about the life we had there and they know my grandfather molested me from almost day one, this is the first time they will know the rest of the story. He molested me until I was eleven at which time he raped me to”bring me to my womanhood.” That rape resulted in a pregnancy and by all that is holy I am grateful my grandmother noticed the change in me and I finally broke down and told her what I was threatened to “never tell” anyone. She realized I was pregnant and took me on a Greyhound bus to a woman she knew or someone had told her about. That woman helped me up on her kitchen table gave me I am assuming whiskey and made me drink a lot. To this day I hear myself screaming in pain and can barely tolerate the smell of whiskey, you would think my years of bartending would have bothered me but I think I had pushed the memories so deep it didn’t. I stayed with Greta for 3-4 days could have been longer I don’t really know.
The Me Too movement helped me tell publicly about the molestation and now these attacks on women and the bans forcing children carry an incest or rapist spawn.
I am angry I am full of anxiety, I don’t know what just know I am it.
I haven’t told you this wanting pity I just want you to know that these bans and the stories they invoke hurt not just the young women today but those of us that have lived through these times before and so we fight for those that these bans may affect. Thank you for reading.