There are six days until  Christmas and my emotions are all over the place. I am brimming with sadness and tears that come at unexpected and unwanted times. I miss my family so much I understand why they can’t be here. I am lonely, sad, angry and without an ounce of joy.
I tried to watch Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel and played Christmas music, held on to the railing side stepping my way to the basement and looked at the trees and ornaments…nothing stirred the excitement, eagerness, and creativity I usually get. I hobbled back upstairs and said to hell with it.
It isn’t just missing family or my counting the years since my daughter was killed it is this year all the way around. The hubs with the memory loss, my on health, family issues and yes even this political environment, I am so very disappointed in my fellow countrymen and women. I feel a great sadness for this country.
So here I sit with no joy of the season no eagerness of waiting for the arrival of family, no plans to cook special dishes or shopping for the perfect gifts.
This is truly a sad year for me and I can only hope that I can get past this season and into the new year with some positivity, I am going to try very hard to get out of this angst I feel.
To all that read this blog thank you, all will be right and go the way it is meant to be, won’t it as our destiny is preordained isn’t it? Anyway….
I hope and wish for all to have a beautiful holiday with friends and family surrounding you with love and good cheer. Happy Holidays to one and all!