Today Is Her Birthday


Forty-Seven years ago today I brought a beautiful little girl into this world weighing 6 lbs. 8 ozs. and 22 & 3/4 inches long. I lost my heart that day as I held that new life in my arms.
Forty-one years later, I held her in my arms weeping over her body in death.
The years  have not been good for our family and selfishly I will say for me especially.
I know that we are meant to travel our roads of life with love and compassion, empathy and selflessness, opening our hearts and sometimes our wallets and homes to those in greater need. But most days I don’t feel like being compassionate  or selfless.
As we grow and mature we learn to accept the steps of life but this step I wish I could have missed and did not have to accept.
It is not easy to wake each day knowing I will never see this child of mine again. That I cannot pick up the phone and hear her voice, make her favorite meal or bake her another birthday cake.
I am trying to accept this change in my life even now these six years later. It is hard and I feel so alone in this fog of grief that surrounds me. Many have passed since my beautiful daughter and for each passing, I am ripped with the pain of their agony and grief and for my own.
My beautiful daughter  Klysta LaNell  August 20, 1969-February 19, 2011.428854_3771596608966_1227116193_n
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About lenwilliamscarver

A simple woman of simple means, walking a gravel road on my journey, made stronger by paths taken barefoot, pain endured, and revealed in these writings. Mistakes made some taught a lesson some lessons ignored, now learning to forgive myself.
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