UGLY ME


I am finding myself more and more nasty and short tempered since beginning treatments. I know I should be grateful for everyday I am blessed to have but a darkness seems to have invaded my mind and my heart, this from the woman who determined to only be about love  this year. Who knew that all this nasty ugliness dwelt within me? I sure didn’t and today I was very ugly to complete strangers and though I still feel I was within my rights I sure did not like the way I handled it, my fingers punched out such vitrole across the cyber world that I was amazed when I took a breath and realized what I had done and to top it off I kept responding to their bullying tactics. I made a simple mistake of not checking my other blogs when they tried to contact me yesterday, so today their impatience and ugly hit me wrong. I am not excusing my part in it just saying I made a mistake and was belittled for it so I belittled back. I can but ask the man upstairs for forgiveness and hope I am not contacted by those two again.
An update~ last biopsies were good, treatments coming to an end and maybe God willing all the rounds of testing will stay positiveI, I sure hope so as I really want to get back to being the old me…you all know the one I am speaking of the one that stays fairly upbeat, writes bad poetry and short stories. The one that finally stopped inflicting her grief on all of you…did you notice I quit writing about my daughters murder and how much I missed her? I quit that too when others started being ugly about it…you know how they didn’t want to hear it anymore and it was time I got over it. So now followers there is no need for you to suffer through it with me  I just write it in a notebook and save you all…LOL  I do still have my other blog a mothers sorrow but don’t write much on it as I have told her story there and that is enough. Be beautiful, know God loves you and so do I. Have a blessed day y’all!

About lenwilliamscarver

A simple woman of simple means, walking a gravel road on my journey, made stronger by paths taken barefoot, pain endured, and revealed in these writings. Mistakes made some taught a lesson some lessons ignored, now learning to forgive myself.
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