BACK BRIEFLY


I thank all that commented on my last post from face book. I know I should apologize for leaving so many of you hanging and I appreciate those that have put forth the effort to check on me now nad again. 
I have been suffering such a deep depression and have been blindly numbing my grief as well with a lot of reposting memes on face book, not paying much attention to anything remotely mind engaging. 
My mother was a maniac- depressive and I have fought it all my life not so much maniac as just depressed.

My health is what it is just a struggle each day in and out of hospital emergency rooms and observations and stays etc. My family dramas with daughters and grandsons has left me shaking my head with the thought in my head “what is this world coming to?” 
 My saintly big bear of a husband is detoriating physically and mentally seems more each day, new meds started so I hope and pray it staves off the perils of the big A. a while longer. He has been saying he wants to die and be with his mother and sister but doesn’t know how I will take care of myself with out him. Then he has days that he is up and clear thinking  and the cycle just goes on.

I have evaluated my writing, poetry (ugh) and my stories, tried to finish something but to no avail. So I have come to the conclusion that I will never write a great novel ( not that ,that is why I wrote) that has never been my goal, I just felt the need to write and express myself yet after a while felt I was torturing you my wonderful WP friends with my hyperbole of nonsense and decided to ease your pain and not inflict any further pain. So for awhile I have given up writing. Will I ever pick it up again  hmmm good question maybe, maybe not either way I am beginning to feel creative urges again and as soon as I get a biopsy result back  I will reevaluate my urge and see what comes up. 
In the meantime I wish to thank you all for checking on me and showing your love and support I appreciate each of you. Love you and God Bless.

About lenwilliamscarver

A simple woman of simple means, walking a gravel road on my journey, made stronger by paths taken barefoot, pain endured, and revealed in these writings. Mistakes made some taught a lesson some lessons ignored, now learning to forgive myself.
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