Happiness an emotion shown by smiles, laughter
and sometimes happy tears
Some are happy all the time or in between fears
Some never achieve that  euphoric state
Learn and know only how to hate
I believe happiness is there the day we are born
Life and it’s circumstances erode happiness
from our souls.
I don’t trust happiness, I don’t trust anyone
Never have never will
This I have accepted as my fate
I am a quiet, lonely, dark person
Someday I wish I could change.


My heart is aching today
I feel so lost going this way
a journey, a path, a country road
I only know this burden is a heavy load
One I don’t know, can I  sanely carry
Why Lord must in this life, I  in sadness tarry
through so much suffering and pain?
my cheeks continually covered in tears like rain
of  memories, grief and hopeless despair
I only want to forget, I want back my joy
Why Lord must emotions play like a toy?
Grief, Lord grief…that is in my heart and soul
I want to love, laugh and play not toil
Lord, let me have the rest of my days
Walking along gentle pathways.


Spiralling~~like water going down the drain
that vortex of darkness and the whoosh explodes
in the brain.
Depression grabs and holds so very deep
depths never known before
great gulping sobs for voice
language gutteral, buried deep in the abysmal pit
afraid to come forth in its verocity~
the body not strong enough
to withstand the force of the screams.